


Act 1: Bye Bye Babylon, Be Gone.

by calumTraveler



Series: Stargate: Alternia [2]
Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck, Stargate - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Temporary Character Death, Condesce is BRUTAL, Crossover, Dismemberment by Transmat Rings, Established Time Travel Loops, Gen, Let's do this bro, Let's make this... transpire, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, WELP i guess I'm doing this then, non-sburb AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-09 06:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12270444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calumTraveler/pseuds/calumTraveler
Summary: Your name is JAKE HARLEY. In no particular order you are an ADVENTURER, BILLIONAIRE INVENTOR, CEO OF TWO COMPANIES, A PROUD FATHER OF TWO...And now you are also STANDING ON A TRULY ALIEN WORLD.There are THREE MOONS.





	1. Act 1 Act 1: As expected, Abydos.

_**October 28th, 1994.**_  
  
Your name is DANIEL JACKSON. In a very particular order, you are A PHD CARRYING ARCHEOLOGIST AND HISTORIAN, as well as THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE ACADEMICAL COMMUNITY.  
  
All because your theories about the PYRAMIDS aren't what most people want to believe. Instead, they'd rather BURY THEIR HEADS in the sand and... Go to Lunch, you suppose? But one day, not too long ago, you were asked by a MYSTERIOUS OLD WOMAN named CATHERINE LANGFORD to come work on a TOP SECRET RESEARCH PROJECT.  
  
So you did. And you started off by completely renaming the project, somehow, by correcting a translation error. Not "Stairway to Heaven" but "STARGATE" instead.  
  
Two weeks later, you found yourself in the unenviable position of preparing to explain your BREAK THROUGH to the project heads, and everyone on staff, included among them WORLD RENOWN BILLIONAIRE/CEO OF MULTIPLE COMPANIES/INVENTOR/ADVENTURE JAKE HARLEY.  
  
Admittedly, the image of this tall, imposing man is a little bit spoiled by the fact that he has his two children sitting on his lap and presently seems more distracted by talking to them, telling them to be quiet once the nice Doctor begins his speech, so that GENERAL WEST doesn't get mad and demand they leave.  
  
You're not sure how old they are, but the girl, at least, looks like she's older than ten. Maybe 14? Apparently their babysitter was sick today or something? It doesn't matter. Catherine seems hopeful, and that's all the motivation you need.  
  
She brought you on to this strange project, so you'll prove her choice in character right.  
  
"So," a guy with Coloniel insignia begins, "You think you've solved in two weeks what's taken nearly a century for everyone else to solve?"  
  
"A century?" You stutter, nearly shocked senseless. They've been working on this for a century??  
  
"Dr. Jackson," Catherine says, before introducing you to everyone important in the meeting room, including GENERAL WEST, who runs this military base. You awkwardly hand out pictures of the cover-stones to everyone as the meeting begins. (You realize belatedly that you just don't have enough of these things for everyone, so they'll just have to share.)  
  
"So, uh. Hi," You begin, and all eyes turn towards you, including those of some Military guy who looks like he'd rather be at home right now doing something else. "Looking at these pictures of the cover-stones, you'll see the- ah. The outer track, which has stumped a lot of people, isn't words to be translated. They're really, ah..." You unfold a large star map, and stick it down on the table. "They're actually Star Constellations."

It's an awkward silence going forwards, so you cough, and press on.

"So, uh, there were also parts of it that people couldn't translate, but that's because they weren't a story or anything, they're mathematical calculations. Miss Carter's been working on those, but she ran into the problem of not having enough data to fill in some gaps."  
  
Captain Samantha Carter, an Astrophysicist, smiled at the mention of her name even as all eyes looked to her for the moment. She was young, you thought. Way too young to be in a room full of military types... but not too young like those two kids were.  
  
Somehow, you'd gotten the boy's wide-eyed attention now.  
  
Oh boy.  
  
"Right, so there's something obvious that didn't click until I realized the outer ring were star constellations, placed in a certain order, they could be numbered, one through thirty-eight, if you had the right starting point." You continue. "And fortunately, there's a dividing line. Right in the center at the top of the cover stones there's a part that's blank, basically a zero point. Counting from that, you get a number, and then you take those seven symbols and count out what numbers they are and plug them into the equation, basically forming an address of sorts. Seven points to outline a course to a destination. And, ah..." You turn to the whiteboard behind you and start drawing out a 3D CUBE. "To find any destination within a three dimensional space, you need six points to determine..." You draw in those six points and then connect them with lines within the CUBE. "The exact location!"  
  
"Oo! Oo!" A hand raises up, and you glance over your shoulder to see the young boy raising his hand.  
  
All eyes turn towards Harley's youngest kid.  
  
"Harley," General West says, warning.  
  
"No, let him ask," Harley says. "Go on, Jude."  
  
"What about the seventh point?" The boy then asks, and you can't help but smile.  
  
"You need six for the destination," you say, circling the point where the lines intersect. "But to chart the course..." You lean over and draw a further away dot, and connect it to the rest via a longer line. "You need, a point of origin."  
  
"Except there's only six symbols on the center cover-stone in the center," Carter speaks up. "There's no seventh symbol."  
  
"The seventh isn't inside that grouping of six," you say, "Uh, look at the picture? It's right below it." And then you draw it out on the board. "It's designated by a Pyramid with two funny little guys worshiping the pyramid. With, a funny little line coming out of the top, connected to this, ah, square above it."  
  
Silence falls across the room, except for the clapping from the young boy. The older sister seems somewhat skeptical.  
  
"Anyways, yeah..." You say. "So that's basically it."  
  
Silence falls for a few moments, and the Colonel guy scoffs, digging out a lighter and cigarette. You feel incredibly awkard now. But really, you didn't call this meeting. Catherine did. What was she expecting you to do besides--?  
  
"He did it," Catherine says suddenly, much to the shock of everyone but Jake Harley.  
  
"No, that symbol isn't anywhere on the device!" Carter says. "It can't work."  
  
Device?  
  
"What device??" That question, however, comes from the young girl on Harley's lap.  
  
Harley looks towards West pointedly, and he looks to the Colonel who's smoking. The man shrugs.  
  
"Show them," West decides.  
  
Someone stands up, and presses a button on the wall, dragging your whiteboard upwards into the wall itself- a recessed blast door??  
  
Harley stands up, putting his youngest onto his shoulders, and carrying the youngest in his arms as the window ascends. He walks over, and you turn to look as well.  
  
And you see the most marvelous Ring shaped device sitting at the bottom of a missile silo. There's a ramp sitting through it, and a pair of massive red clamps holding it upright.  
  
"What is it?" You ask.  
  
"Your Stargate," Catherine speaks softly.

  
  
Legally, Your name is still JOEY HARLEY, age FOURTEEN, although you introduce yourself to your friends as JOEY CLAIRE (Well, if you had any consistent friends, that is, that weren't your Brother's friends). You are, in no particular order, wondering just what the hell your PA has looped you into.  
  
For years after your mother's death, you've had to deal with an absent father. He's gone on adventures, and 'consulting gigs' for as long as you can remember, leaving you in the SOMEWHAT CAPABLE hands of ROXY LALONDE, your BABYSITTER.  
  
You'd started to grow to resent his absences. But now... you're finally starting to get answers.  
  
Soon, you're sitting in an office chair, with your little bro JUDE is sitting next to you, spinning around on his own office chair while technicians spin and rush all around the room work on inputting data you don't even know what it's for.  
  
The "STARGATE" now spins dramatically infront of you. The spinning is cool, you suppose, but what does it really do?  
  
Dr. Jackson stops it suddenly, and demands they scroll back a few glyphs until he stops it again. Then, he draws on the screen he's looking at. "Pyramid, two little guys... sun on top."  
  
"Of course it'd be that one," your PA says, and... There's a look of shared amusement and... hope? Yes. Hope shared between your PA and MISS LANGFORD.  
  
"Programming Seventh Symbol!" someone says. "Generating dialing program."  
  
Your PA dials up GENERAL WEST, above you, and he gets the go ahead for... Something. And then everything goes into frantic mode.  
  
CHUNK- "Chevron One is holding-" someone calls out as one of the chevrons flashes brightly. The one in the center moves- THWUMP! "Chevron one is locked in place!"  
  
"Power flow at... Twenty Three percent!"  
  
You're staring in awe- you can almost hear the music as if this were a movie or maybe even a dream.  
  
CHUNK- "Chevron two is holding..." -THWUMP! "Chevron Two is Locked in place!"  
  
"EVACUATE ALL PERSONELLE!" someone calls out, and all the technicians in the room escape.  
  
It's then you notice the yellow lines marking out a space to not cross on the floor.  
  
CHUNK-THWUMP! "Chevron Three is Locked in place!"  
  
"This was under the Cover-stones?" Dr. Jackson asks.  
  
"Yes, My father found it in Giza, 1928." Catherine says. "That's where I met Mister Harley. He was just a novice rope-hand at the time!"  
  
"I helped dig up that thing when I was just eighteen," your PA tells you, in addition to it. "It's been a mystery that's haunted us all our lives. We've lost good people figuring out what the hell this thing is. And now..." he's shedding a tear when you manage to break your eyes away from the ring to look up at him. "And now thanks to Dr. Jackson, we're about to figure it out for sure this time."  
  
CHUNK-THWUMP! Chevron Four.  
  
"It's made out of an unknown mineral," Carter speaks. "Unlike anything on earth, but it's a super heavy material that's an amazing super conductor. The power requirements alone are astronomical."  
  
CHUNK-THWUMP! After the fifth chevron is locked, everything begins shaking- the Gate itself makes a loud whining noise. Your PA puts his hands on your and Jude's shoulders to stabilize you.  
  
"If you're right about this, Jackson," your PA says, "this will be the second time I've ever gotten to see this thing working."  
  
"SEVENTY NINE PERCENT!"  
  
CHUNK! "CHEVRON SIX IS HOLDING...!" There's an extra long pause this time, lights begin flickering as if there was a sudden, heavy power drain. THWUMP! "CHEVRON SIX IS LOCKED IN PLACE!"  
  
"Besides one other attempt, this is as far as we have ever gotten," Catherine suddenly declares, to which you hear General West sputter in surprise, as if this was the first he was hearing about it.  
  
CHUNK- "CHEVRON SEVEN-!" There's beeping from the screens and then- THWUMP! "CHEVERON SEVEN IS LOCKED IN PLA-!"  
  
**WAAAA WAAAAA!** The Stargate makes a loud, horrible noise, and then there's a flash of light as **_KAWOOOOOSH!_**  
  
Lights in the room burn out as the brilliant wave of light shoots forwards, creating a massive, almost water like bubble in front of you, before colapsing down into... into a wall.  
  
A wall of water!  
  
In the silence of the Stargate's humming energy, someone's pencil falls to the floor.  
  
And then someone orders, "Send in the probe."

* * *

  
  
As soon as the "Stargate" closed a minute later, your PA ferried you and JUDE into his OFFICE, and told you two to stay put while he and the other Scientists go over the "Fancy Boring Sciency Data Stuff," and that he'd return in a few minutes.  
  
Jude is content to sit in PA'S OFFICE CHAIR and keep SPINNING AROUND while making sounds approximating that STARGATE'S OPENING. Well, it seems like HE had fun today. Damn it, he's probably going to be talking about this for weeks even despite the NDAs you both had to sign.  
  
While Jude's distracting himself, though, you're going to get your SNOOP on.  
  
Your PA had you brought out here to COLORADO SPRINGS all the way from HAUNTSWITCH for a very specific reason. It likely wasn't JUST to see the apparently TRIUMPHANT ACTIVATION of that "Stargate."  
  
You start snooping in PA'S OFFICE SAFE. As always, he uses your MOM'S BIRTHDAY as his pass code. Sloppy, PA. SLOPPY.  
  
You SNOOP a bit through the files inside and you find some... RATHER STARTLING INFORMATION!  
  
Your PA has BOUGHT A HOUSE here in COLORADO, and had even got DOCUMENTATION signaling that he intends to TRANSFER you and Jude from your current School in HAUNTSWITCH to somewhere closer to this MILITARY BASE. Furthermore, there's DRAFT PAPERWORK that looks SIMILAR TO THE NDAs you signed earlier that indicate that your PA wants you both FULLY IN THE LOOP of what's going on here.  
  
What the hell? Does he intend to drag you off to Alien Planets on a weekly basis or something?  
  
Then you find... OTHER STUFF. Files and folders relating to a PREVIOUS PROJECT involving the STARGATE, as well as something to do with a MYSTERIOUS HOLE cut into a BOAT that had carried the GATE at one point in its lifetime.  
  
There's DOCUMENTATION about the Gate's UNEARTHING, as well as other things that...  
  
Well.  
  
Why the hell does your PA have a photograph of A LARGE CRATE marked with an older version of the BETTY CROCKER LOGO?? Surely there are no SINGULAR BAKING GOODS in the world that could be fit inside such an object!  
  
More in this particular folder is stuff relating to your PA'S MOTHER- who you've never actually met- as well as some SEARCHES that were being executed to find someone named JANE. You wonder if that's your PA'S SISTER? Apparently she lives up in Washington or Oregon, as of this recent report. Your PA hasn't narrowed it down further from that.  
  
How weird, and also kind of sad.  
  
You're about to put down the folder when you come across a PHOTOGRAPH. A REALLY REALLY OLD ONE.  
  
At first you're not quite sure what you're looking at. It looks kind of like a POLAROID but in Black and White. Didn't Polaroids only come in COLOR? That's not the only oddity. The person framed in it seems to be unaware of the fact they're being photographed. Instead, they're focused on APPLYING MAKEUP to their FACE. You can't tell what kind due to the lack of color in it, but it does seem to make their skin look A LOT LIGHTER than it otherwise was.  
  
Then, you spy something in the corner of the photo- just out of frame reflected in a mirror. Is that... your PA? As a kid?? It certainly looks like him, scrunched up, peeking through the gaps of a CLOSET DOOR, with a CAMERA clearly held up to one eye.  
  
The hell? Your PA certainly was a FLIRT in his youthful days, but you never expected him to be a CLOSET PERV.  
  
You flip the photograph over for hopes of TEXT DOCUMENTATION, and hit PAYDIRT. There, in a FADED GREEN INK, scrawled in your PA's messy handwriting is the following sentence.  
  
**_'"MOTHER" applying her Makeup. 4/13/1923'_**  
  
...This is your GRANDMOTHER, apparently. You didn't think he HAD any photographic proof of her existance at all. Was she just Camera Shy or something?  
How weird.  
  
You hear your PA's voice coming down the hall, and quickly shove everything back into the SAFE before locking it tight up again.  
  
In the process, however, you SHOVE the SECRET PHOTOGRAPH into your JACKET POCKET, and hope it doesn't get ruined by being crumpled up any.  
  
Your PA enters the room a moment later, and Jude thankfully says nothing about your SNOOPING. Li'l Dude knows how to keep a secret. You give him an appreciative nod and a suble thumbs up.  
  
"So!" Your PA begins. "What did you think of today?"  
  
Jude launches into a ramble about how AWESOME the Stargate is and how amazing it is that it's finally working again. Your PA seems truly HAPPY for the first time in... years? Years. Yes, it's really been years, you think. Not since before your Mother died can you remember such a proud hopeful smile on your PA's face.  
  
Once Jude finishes up with his excited rambling, your PA looks to you, and you ask him an armor piercing question.  
  
"What now?" If you were feeling any humor in the situation, you might try to act silly and shrug your arms up and down a little, but this isn't the time or place for that.  
  
And then the smile flickers on your PA's face, before settling firmly into something you've NEVER SEEN BEFORE. It's somewhat reminiscent of his usual "I'm going Adventuring" look, but... different.  
  
It's actually serious for once.  
  
"General West is launching an expedition team through the Stargate," PA says. "He's hired Colonel O'neill for something and I'm not quite sure I like what he's got planned for the other side of that door. If it weren't for that, I'd be staying here on Earth and giving you all the city tour!"  
  
"How long?" You ask, no clarification needed.  
  
"If Dr. Jackson can find a way to open the Gate from the other side?" Your PA smiles, "No more than a day. If it takes a bit longer, I don't expect it to take any longer than a week. I've asked Roxy to fly down to keep an eye on you two, but she won't be here until tomorrow evening, and if we're back from the other side, it won't matter that much."  
  
"So are we staying here on the Base?" Jude asks.  
  
"Not unless you want to. I've got a house I've been living in when not back home at Hauntswitch or here at base," PA says, surprising exactly Jude, who's disappointed. "If you like it enough, I'm considering moving you two down here full time so we can spend more time together, but I won't uproot you just to be selfish." He's looking directly at you as he says that. He motions briefly at the safe, and DAMN IT. He knew you were looking. Must have heard you slam the safe shut. "If you want to go there, I'll drive you there, and be coming back immediately to prepare for the mission. We're not scheduled to leave until tomorrow morning, but again, I'm not so trusting of General West."  
  
You sigh. "I don't like it, PA. But... I understand." You look him in the eyes, and for the first time that you can remember, you both come to an understanding. This is IMPORTANT. "Good luck."  
  
"Thank you, Joey." Your PA smiles.  
  
You tell him, if the mission is going to last only a day, then you're fine with staying on the base. And if something goes wrong and it takes longer... well... You'd rather be here than somewhere else if a connection back is finally made.

  
  
Your name is JAKE HARLEY and you're standing in front of the STARGATE.  
  
You're at the front of the team, and you wouldn't have it any other way. Sure, Coloniel O'neill is grumpy, but he's been grumpy since the minute he showed up two weeks ago, right after Jackson arrived.  
  
Two weeks.  
  
Sometimes a fresh perspective was all that was really needed, it seemed.  
  
Now that you know HOW the damned thing works, once this mission to the other side is finished, you're going to work double time to find the recorded footage of the mission that lost Earnest to the void.  
  
Out of all the bone headed decisions Catherine's father had made, the fact that he buried the footage of the experiments so deep that not even the US MILITARY's people could find it had to be the worst.  
  
If only you could REMEMBER the exact order of the symbols used.  
  
_The minute you get back,_ you tell yourself as you step up to the shimmering wall of water.  
  
General West couldn't stop you now, not even if he shot you in the heart.  
  
You tighten your grip on your BLUNDERBUSS and step into the STARGATE.  
  
What feels both like an eternity, but also a single second later, you're stumbling forwards into the darkened, cavernous room that the PROBE and the CART had been sent into before your arrival. You feel disoriented, and cold. Gosh Darn it to Heck is it COLD.  
  
A moment later, O'NEILL comes through the gate, then KAWALSKI, and the rest of the AIR FORCE TEAM. They're more disoriented than you are, but hold their own fine. The disorientation fades at about the same time the frost on your skin has melted.  
  
...Strange. Why is there frost?  
  
Captain Carter comes through the Gate next, and Dr. Jackson is behind her a moment later. They must have stayed back a moment to play with the Eventhorizon, you suspect.  
  
"Easy," Kawalski- or was it FR... Freddy? Freddie? You... Ashamedly, you'll admit you neglected to pick up his name, along with most of the other members of O'neill's team. Well, whoever it is tells the two new arrivals that the disorientation and frost wears off soon.  
  
The GATE shuts off, and you take a flashlight off of your belt and click it on. It's not a Military standard issue flashlight- no, they use FLARES, which are being lit up as you think. No, this flashlight isn't even up to most people's standards of what's deemed a decent flashlight. It's a dime a dozen, cheaply made thing. And yet... And yet you keep at least TWO on you at all times when adventuring. It's the same brand and model that JOEY took a shining to when she was little.  
  
After... After Claire died, you started carrying two flashlights with you on every adventure you went on- even if they were severely less often than you'd done in your youth due to all the work with Catherine's program- just so you'd remember who you had to come back to.  
  
And while it was rare that it happened, on more than a few occasions, these flashlights had saved your life. Either by bonking a snarling FERAL BEAST over the head, or by BLOCKING A FATAL ARROW SHOT from some angry TRIBESMEN.  
  
Each time that happened, you made sure to give your kids a TIGHT HUG when you made it back home.  
  
You strap the flashlight you'd long ago put a small sticker of a FLYING SAUCER on it- JUDE- to your BLUNDERBUSS's PRE-MADE HOLDER and used it as a sight guide as you look around the CENTRAL CHAMBER of an ANCIENT EGYPTIAN STRUCTURE. You've visited enough of EGYPT to have a firm, INSTINCTUAL KNOWLEDGE of their construction styles.  
  
You pause as you pass by a small alcove hosting what looks like...  
  
"Jackson, Carter," You say, then, after a moment's pause, add, "O'neill. Come look at this."  
  
The two Scientists and the good Colonel come over to where you're indicating.  
  
It's some kind of giant console device, hidden away. There's reflective plates stylized on it, and in the center is a dull, orange orb. The plates look like they're the same symbols as are on the Gate.  
  
Curiously, you reach out, and touch one of the plates. It lights up with an electronic SHWUMP sound- and the STARGATE rumbles- the innter track spinning briefly before the first CHEVRON lights up with the CHUNK-THWUMP you've become accustomed to.  
  
"This is what was missing from the Giza Dig," Carter speaks your mind as she approaches it. "It's some kind of control device."  
  
"Jackson," O'neill begins, "think you can figure out how to get us back home with that?"  
  
"Yeah, I just..." Jackson nods, hesitantly, looking around the room. "I'll need to take a look around first and make sure I'm not entering in the wrong symbols and accidentally send us materializing inside of a sun, or ten thousand years in the past." He paused as everyone, including you turn to look at him. "What? It's possible. Before today I didn't even think transporting to another world was even possible and yet..." He motions back at the STARGATE, which, on that note, turns off the one lit up chevron after a minute of inactivity, possibly as some sort if idle behavior mechanic.  
  
"As much as it's terrifying to think of, sir," Carter begins, "Jackson's right. If we dial the wrong address we could end up who knows where. I'm sure there's some kind of safety mechanisim tied into this... Dialer Divice, but back home on Earth? It took us sixteen years and three super computers to Macgyver together a system that didn't involve us turning the gate manually. And yet..." She points at the Dialer. "This thing is so much more compact. I wonder how it's powered..."  
  
"No taking it apart until we can secure a connection back to Earth, Carter," O'neill says, gruffly, then, turning to Jackson. "So, what do you need to get us home?"  
  
"Isn't it obvious?" You ask, chuckling over Dr. Jackson's stuttered attempts at even beginning to figure out what he needs. "We need to find a room with a bunch of Gate Addresses. Surely a place like this has to have had it, somewhere." You motion around. "We have computers for a Database, but this place probably pre-dates that sort of thing. Our home address will likely be carved in stone just like the address for this place was."  
  
"Along with others," Carter agrees. "Sir, if we can find that list of Addresses, we wouldn't need to start brute forcing addresses. We'd have a complete list of almost certainly inhabitable worlds to explore."  
  
"Then why wasn't something like that on Earth?" O'neill asks.  
  
"Well, our Stargate was buried. This one isn't," You point at the clearly upright and operational Stargate.  
  
"...Fair point," O'neill concedes. "Okay. So we spread out, find this list of addresses and then dial home just as soon as we find Earth's with this oversized excuse for a computer keyboard. Easy enough."  
  
"Glad you agree," you smile that smile that Claire once described as a Thousand watt stage spotlight. "Now then, let's see where the exit is."  
  
The team moves through the stone-work complex once Dr. Jackson's finished marking down the deviant symbols from the... Hrm, you suppose it could be called a DIAL HOME DEVICE.  
  
One of the first things noticed just at the edge of the room is what could only be described as a LARGE IRIS SHAPED STRUCTURE in the ceiling. A skylight, perhaps? You wonder where the controls are for it.  
  
You progress past there, through some hallways, and then straight out into a GRAND ENTRY HALL. Past rows of pillars, you all exit out into the OPEN DESERT.  
For a moment, you're stunned. It's like you've been sent back to 1928 all over again.  
  
You frown, and look to Carter. "Say, you mentioned Time Travel before... you don't suppose it's possible we've gone back in time to Giza, hm?"  
  
Carter gives you a look that says she wasn't expecting that question.  
  
And then you start laughing, and apologize. "Sorry! Sorry! It just had to be done."  
  
O'neill gives you an annoyed look from beneath his SUNGLASSES.  
  
Your team spreads out around the entrance, and you head outwards- down the ramp and then out into the desert so you can turn around and get a proper look at the entrance to this place.  
  
...  
  
Your name is JAKE HARLEY. In no particular order you are an ADVENTURER, BILLIONAIRE INVENTOR, CEO OF TWO COMPANIES, A PROUD FATHER OF TWO...  
And now...  
  
You are also STANDING ON A TRULY ALIEN WORLD.  
  
There are THREE MOONS.


	2. Act 1 Act 2: Sandy Shores.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley finds a disturbing message left for him, and Jackson tells O'Neill a spine ripper of a story.

Your name is CAPTAIN SAMANTHA CARTER, and you are... not quite sure this is what you signed up for.  
  
Namely. Hiking through a DESERT. You're an Astrophysicist, not a desert hiker.  
  
But here you are, following one JAKE HARLEY, joining you is one of the soldiers brought along on this mission, LOUIS FERRETTI. Said man is also visibly annoyed that HARLEY keeps calling him "FREDDY" instead, and if not but for respect of CHAIN OF COMMAND would have yelled at him already for it.  
  
"Gotta find a bunch of stone tablets with symbols on them," Ferretti gripes, mostly to himself, and quiet enough it's not TOO much of a distraction to your own thoughts, but still loud enough that you can't help but listen to him mutter as you stalk through the desert sands. "How come Kawalski gets the fun mission of going with O'neill and Brown after Jackson when he gets dragged off by some alien horse. Why can't I get dragged off by an alien horse? I'd like to get dragged off by some alien horse sometimes, too, you know. Looked like Jackson was having the time of his life with that thing."  
  
Harley laughs. "Can't really argue with that. It did look like a hell of a road rash, though." He pauses ontop of a dune, and brings up a compass. "Hmm."  
  
When your group had split off from the rest of the team, Harely had said he had a suspicion as to where a Gate coordinate ARCHIVE could be, based upon the fact that the PYRAMID that the Gate was in is apparently a PERFECT REPLICA of the GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA.  
  
"Rumor goes that the Sphinx holds a secret library in it," Harley had said, "It's complete hogwash on Earth, of course. But what if, geographically, on an alien world, in the same spot, there IS something there?"  
  
And so with that, he'd chosen a direction to go walking in.  
  
That had been... a while ago. You hadn't thought to look at the time when you set off and now you're not sure exactly how long it's been since you left. You're about to ask if you're lost when Harley snaps his fingers and laughs in triumph. "We're almost there!" He then starts down a hill, taking off at nearly a run.  
  
You're honestly surprised he has this much energy. Harley has to be in his 80s at this point, maybe edging into his 90s, if he was a part of the Dig at GIZA that dug up the Gate to begin with. And yet, he barely looks a day over fifty, and moves like he's not even thirty.  
  
Within a minute, he's found a SMALL DOOR carved into the crevices of a LARGE ROCK, and inside is... Inside is a large room that's nothing but walls carved with spiraling engravings and heiroglyphics.  
  
You immediately get your camera out and begin filming every section of the first wall you face. Along the top half of the room seems to be a blocked off section of carvings containing what look like POINT OF ORIGIN GLYPHS along with a DEPICTION of the PLANET IN QUESTION. After a breaker line, there's a series of SIX LARGE GLYPHS below each ORIGIN GLYPH- the ADDRESS to that planet, clearly. Below that, is just some EGYPTIAN HEIROGLYPHS that probably talk about the world. Each one of these series of glyphs are cordoned off from the others by DECORATIVE BORDERS carved to look like WINGED SERPENTS.  
  
"This is definitely a Gate Address repository," You say, "these glyphs are all off of the Abydos Gate!"  
  
"Including the ones that aren't on our Earth Gate?" Ferretti asks, seemingly concerned by something he's seeing on one of the walls.  
  
"Well..." You spot one such Address, still focused on your part of the wall that you're recording. "Yes! There are a few here just like that."  
  
"Then what about this address that doesn't have any glyphs from either Gate?" Ferretti asks and- wait, what?  
  
You whirl around, camera in hand, to focus on the wall that Ferretti and Harley are both staring at.  
  
It's different from the rest. In the center of it is a section of wall that's been deliberately covered over by an Obelisk that's been painted in rather odd colors. It... well, in your SCIENTIFIC OPINION it looks almost like CANDY CORN. Carved onto its three visible sides, with the fourth planted firmly against the wall, are three different GATE ADDRESSES- all of which varry in one CRITICAL RESPECT from every other address in the room.  
  
There are SEVEN GLYPHS instead of SIX. And none of them are from Earth's or this planet's STARGATE.  
  
"This one on the front kind of looks like Earth's home address thing," Ferretti says, pointing at the Origin Glyph on the front facing side. And he's right. It's exactly Earth's [ORIGIN GLYPH](https://78.media.tumblr.com/4ad910ce5bd669b6912839e23d4a3dbd/tumblr_oxdplwkZqJ1vxvb19o2_1280.png) save for one detail- there's a carved CRESCENT MOON added to it. In fact, it almost looks like the PYRAMID part of the glyph is cutting into the Crescent part. "Think it's our way home?"  
  
"No," Harley says, approaching to run his hands along the wall's edges where it meets with the Obelisk. "I think this set of extra glyphs was added to Cover Up our Earth Address." He grunts, and starts to pull the Obelisk away from the wall. It comes away much too easily, in your opinion, which likely cements the fact it was added after the fact.  
  
Harley takes out a small brush from his jacket pocket, and runs it across the top most section of wall, knocking DUST and DEBRIS away until he uncovers the edges of Earth's Point of Origin Glyph, barely still visible after a clear attempt at removal.  
  
"Shit," Ferretti swears. "Please tell me the other glyphs are there?"  
  
Harley runs his hands up and down the section of wall that should contain the address. "...No. And in fact, I dare say that not even any remnants of it would be here to find even if they'd been defaced similarly to the Point of Origin symbol."  
  
"Why's that?" You ask.  
  
"It's a completely different type of stone from the rest of the wall," Harley says, turning around, and giving you and the camera an annoyed frown. "Someone went to great trouble to-"  
  
He stops mid sentence, and then turns to move the Obelisk around a bit more so he can see the side that up until just now had been up against the wall more clearly.  
  
"...There's a message here," He says, half hoarse and half excited. "And it's not in Egyptian."  
  
"What?" Ferretti and you both go to look and...  
  
"Is that English?" You ask, surprised at the MODERN FONT FACE staring back at you.  
  
It reads, rather disturbingly, _'"You'll have to try harder next time to reel in this White Whale," said Captain Ahab to Dr. Harley.'_  
  
"Someone knew we were coming," Harley gulps. "Someone knew *I* would be coming here. How in the nine circles of hell could someone know I'd find THIS?"  
  
"We should radio the team, get back to the Pyramid," Ferretti says. "This could be a Trap for all we know!"  
  
"Agreed. Freddy, go outside and radio the team," Harley nods. "Carter, get one solid pass of the room, then we're high tailing it back to the Pyramid."  
  
"Right," You nod, and Ferretti gripes out a "Yes, Sir!" before heading outside.  
  
You do your camera panning across the room, and are about half way done when Ferretti comes back in, coughing up a lot of dust.  
  
"Freddy! What happened!" Harley goes over to him to help keep him upright.  
  
"No way in hell we're contacting anyone in that weather," Ferretti says between gasps for air. "Sandstorm blew in out of nowhere. It's heading straight for the Pyramid. We're stuck here until it blows over."  
  
Harley goes out to look, and comes back a few moments later with a grim expression on his face. "That's the worst sand storm I've ever seen in my entire life. And that's saying something!"  
  
"It's an Alien planet," You suppose, "so the weather would probably be a bit alien as well, I guess."  
  
"Right," Harley sighs. "Okay. New plan. We try and figure out as much of this room as we can by the time the storm blows over. Then we hightail it back to the Pyramid the moment it lets up."  
  
Well, you suppose that's a plan.

* * *

 

  
Your name is COLONEL JACK O'NEILL. And right now, it's well past MIDNIGHT, you've been stuck on an Alien Planet for FAR LONGER than you'd ever wanted to be, and you've got to get EVERYONE ELSE HOME before you can even complete the MISSION that GENERAL WEST assigned to you.  
  
Right now, you're following some kids through some HIDDEN TUNNELS to try and find DR. JACKSON, so your mind has some time to WANDER. Nothing about this MISSION has sat right with you. This whole thing was supposed to be a CIVILIAN OP. until West brought you in. HARLEY, despite his age, is an EXPERIENCED ADVENTURER a thousand times over and is WAY more qualified to handle an exploration mission than you ever would be.  
  
West's orders, too, made little sense to you too. Why go to all the trouble of opening this door just to destroy the Gate on the other side?  
  
And that was his orders. Sure, he vaguely insinuated that it was only necessary if "There was a threat to Humanity" on the other side, but those VAGUE INSINUATIONS have always, in your experience, been for PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY.  
  
And then there's the BOMB ITSELF that you were checking on earlier before heading out after Jackson got dragged around by some Alien Dog-Horse thing.  
  
It's a MARK THREE NUCLEAR WARHEAD.  
  
You were told it was going to be NON NUCLEAR. How the hell did West even get CLEARANCE to send something like this?  
  
Needless to say, seeing all these people (Especially all the Kids) living so close to the Pyramid, you're A LITTLE HESITANT ABOUT SETTING THE DAMNED THING OFF right now.  
  
You can feel the detonator circuit bouncing in your pant leg pocket like the ocean weighted box it is. Every thump against your leg is a reminder of the potential ball death you'd be bringing down upon this planet.  
  
Finally, you pass by a tunnel, and hear VOICES echoing from down the hall.  
  
You shove all thoughts of Nuclear Death behind a SOLID WALL in your mind, and observe JACKSON and some LOCAL GIRL chat it up over heiroglyphics.  
  
"I thought you couldn't speak their language," you finally announce your presence, and Jackson jumps a little. It's kind of funny, given how he was sitting on the ground at the moment that happened.  
  
Jackson spews out something about the language being a VERBALLY EVOLVED ANCIENT EGYPTIAN and BUYING VOWELS? No, wait, that's WHEEL OF FORTUNE. LEARNING the Vowels, that's what Jackson said.  
  
"But that's not what's important," Jackson suddenly says. "We found out what happened to Earth's Gate." He coughs to clear his throat, and then begins pointing at some glyphs. "Back thousands of years ago, the Sun God Ra was searching the galaxy for a Host Species that he and his kind could use. Their current hosts were 'primitive and uncooperative,' I think meaning that they'd begun to find ways to resist being possessed. So Ra came to Earth, and he found us, Humans. One of them, 'when Night turned to Day', stood where the others fled, and Ra took him as a host."  
  
Interesting. Also, concerning. Parasitic aliens? That's... grounds for an explosion, you suppose.  
  
"Ra brought with him a Stargate, and began proliferating Humans across the stars, sharing a few choice specimens with his fellow 'Gods' but always keeping the best to himself. Abydos- ah, this planet- is mentioned as one of those places that Ra moved his people to," Jackson continues, moving towards a new set of glyphs and paintings. "But then one day, something strange happened. During a Solar Eclipse, a strange woman was flung from the gate. She called herself KHEPRI, and said she was banished from her throne among the gods in another Galaxy to Earth for 'ruling justly and properly.'"  
  
"...Obviously she didn't," you note, "otherwise she wouldn't have been exiled."  
  
"Well, yeah, Obviously it's a lie," Jackson says. "They used the Ancient Egyptian version of Massive Sarcasm Quotes on that particular line."  
  
You look at the glyph Jackson's pointing to. This "KHEPRI" woman looks like a tall, black shadow with PURPLE HIGHLIGHTS forming FINS and a... a rather CREEPY SMILE. She also has weird orange THINGS coming off the top of her head. You tap at the orange things. "Khepri's an Insect themed God, Right?"  
  
"Something like that, yeah," Jackson says. "I guess those are supposed to be antenna." He shakes his head. "Anyways, even Ra was suspicious of her, even as he invited her to one final dinner." He pauses. "There's a line here that's hard to translate exactly into English, but I think it's a direct quote," Jackson says, giving you a grim smile. "Apparently Khepri made some rather sarcastic remark about her having him for dinner instead."  
  
_"She **Ate** Ra for **Dinner**?"_ You ask, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Eyup," Jackson points to a new diagram, of this KHEPRI ripping out RA'S SPINE and EATING IT. "Quite literally."  
  
"Ouch," You grimace. So... threat neutralized already?  
  
"Khepri then proclaimed herself the NEW RA," Jackson continues, "which, the locals were not happy about. Apparently a few Revolutionaries from 'another place'- probably another planet with a Stargate- had been helping plan a revolution or uprising against Ra all that time, but with Khepri making her move, ironically proving that Ra wasn't a God himself, the locals overthrew HER instead, forcing her to 'flee into the stars'- probably through the Stargate to Abydos, I'd guess. We know Earth buried the Gate after this, and that's about where all contact basically gets cut off."  
  
"Wonderful," You say sarcastically.  
  
"Oh, it gets better," Jackson shook his head. "Abydos, unaware of the rebellion at first, accepted her presence and rule as the new Ra without question. That is, until one of Ra's former aids told them about the rebellion. There was an attempt here on Abydos, but Khepri was prepared this time, and she put it down with 'ruthless culling and creative use of Ra's technology that no Ra had ever shown before.' After that she outlawed reading and writing to keep any more uprisings from happening. Also... There's one other thing, too."

"Oh? Is there?" You ask.

"There's also mention that Khepri tortured the rebellious people by 'transforming them, and cursing the people from then on,' and, ah..." Jackson points to one final glyph. "There's explicit mentioning of her turning people into animals, or giving them animal traits."

"Isn't that kind of hybrid thing usually reserved for the gods?" You ask, frowning.

"Khepri didn't care for the rules," Jackson shook his head. "It sounds like she was trying to turn the Abydosians into more of her race of aliens, but wasn't succeeding at it."

"So... Genetic Manipulation?"

"Pretty much," Jackson answers.  
  
"Well, she sounds like an absolutely LOVELY woman. Please tell me this Sun eating Beetle woman is dead and buried here?" You ask.  
  
"According to the last of this wall, no," Jackson shook his head. "The aide who told the locals about the Rebellion kept tabs on everything else in secret-" he motions back along the wall. "This whole room is his or her legacy. They kept it up until they died. Ra's technology allowed his race to live a very long time, and it seems Khepri already had a naturally long life span before she took over Ra's place in the Egyptian Pantheon. If she was modifying the people who lived here, it's even possible she did stuff to herself that made her incredibly long lived."  
  
"So... quasi-immortal beetle goddess?" You ask.  
  
"More like Conditionally Immortal, but yeah," Jackson nods.  
  
"Well this has gone FUBAR," You remark. "Please tell me you found a gate address in here?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, a while ago," Jackson frowns. "It's incomplete, though."  
  
"Show me," You order, and Jackson does so, taking you to what seems to be a PART OF A WALL that was torn down and left here in the sand.  
  
"There's six glyphs for the address, and I pieced together enough for the Address itself," Jackson says, "but we're missing the Point of Origin for Abydos."  
  
"Think you could figure it out with the Dialer?" you ask.  
  
"It would be about as simple as brute forcing a password that you know all but one letter of," Jackson shrugs. "So, probably?"  
  
"Good," you nod. "The sandstorm's letting up. Let's get back to the Pyramid and check in with the team, then get everyone home."  
  
"Colonel," Jackson says, "if you don't mind, I think I'd like to stay here for a while. On the planet, I mean. I can send you all back home, but-"  
  
"No buts, Jackson," You interject, glancing at the Local Girl. "Even if they do have very cute butts, I need you back home to debrief General West on this story you just told me. I know I'm not going to remember it half as well to get everything down right."  
  
"...I. I guess that's reasonable," Jackson pauses, scratching at his nose. "But I still want to come back here as soon as possible after that."  
  
"Take it up with Harley or the General," You say. "Now let's pack it up and get moving out. That sand storm was making some really weird sounds earlier and I'm a little creeped out by it."  
  
"How weird?" Jackson asks.  
  
"Like animal howling weird," you say.  
  
"...Okay, yeah, that is weird. Let me ask if that's normal here," Jackson says, and then turns to the girl to talk to her. You think you pick up a name- Shau-ri? Sha're?  
Either way, she seems startled upon hearing the question, and says something that even you think sounds like a concrete "No, sandstorms never make sounds like that" even before Jackson turns to you and says, "We should get back to the Pyramid."  
  
Your name is COLONEL JACK O'NEILL, and You've got a Bad Feeling about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. 
> 
> That's a thing that happened.


	3. Act 1 Act 3: Horizontal Hangovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ENTER: KHEPRI

Your name is JAKE HARLEY, and you're feeling the pit of your stomach bottom out.  
  
There's an ALIEN SPACE SHIP parked on the Pyramid. Not only that, it's sides are MARKED with a VARIATION of the CROCKER CORP LOGO that you KNOW has ONLY BEEN USED INTERNALLY.  
  
Jumping Cat-fish Flipping over a Grease Fire, this is BAD.  
  
Distantly, on a nearby hill, you can see O'NEILL's branch of the team crouched in observation. A bit further behind, you can see... Natives? Locals? They look just as surprised by the changed Pyramid as you are.  
  
"Carter, Freddy," you say. "Stay back here and observe. Don't come in after me. If you hear fighting, stay out of it."  
  
"But, Sir-" Freddy begins.  
  
"I want backup that any Hostiles aren't aware of," You interupt him. "I think those are natives over there in the distance. If they're with O'neill, then they're hanging back too. If something goes wrong... If the worst happens and you hear fighting inside, I want you able to pull off a rescue mission."  
  
"Damn it. Fine. I'll do it, but one thing first," he says.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"My name is Ferretti."  
  
"What?" You look to the man.  
  
"F. E. R. R. E. T. T. I." He says. "You've been mispronouncing it, Sir."  
  
"Ah," You smile. "Thank you, Ferretti. I should have known that. Sorry for not getting it right."  
  
"It's fine, this team did get pretty hastily thrown together anyways," FERRETTI says.  
  
"Good luck, Sir," Carter says, and you give her a nod before heading across the dunes towards O'NEILL's group.  
  
...Predictably, things DO NOT GO WELL when you make the group decision to RE-ENTER the Pyramid.

* * *

 

  
Your name is JOEY, and you're beginning to feel a bit nervous.  
  
It's been about a DAY since your PA and his TEAM went through the STARGATE.  
  
Right now, you're OFF BASE with your BRO JUDE in the CAPABLE HANDS of your USUAL BABYSITTER, ROXY LALONDE.  
  
If you felt angry at any point about her possibly knowing about all of this Stargate stuff before you and Jude, it was thankfully squashed flat by the knowledge that Roxy didn't even have clearance to go past LEVEL FOUR, and CATHERINE LANGFORD had to get her a special pass just to get her down to THIRTEEN where you and Jude had been given a BUNKBED ROOM to share.  
  
(NEVER AGAIN, thank you very much. If you're spending more time in Colorado, you'll be doing it at PA'S HOUSE here going forwards. You aren't sure when Jude started SNORING, but it's something you've been blissfully unaware of thanks to his room being DOWN THE HALL with TWO DIFFERENT DOORS separating you two thanks to the layout of the HAUNTSWITCH HOUSE.)  
  
Right now, you're at some CHEAP FAST FOOD PLACE- you haven't really paid attention to where exactly, too wrapped up in the nervousness of the fact that your PA hasn't returned home yet.  
  
You know he said it could be up to a week, but you've got a BAD FEELING in the pit of your stomach that makes it had to get down the CHICKEN NUGGETS Roxy had bought you for lunch.  
  
(You look at the box and see it's BURGER KING. Huh. You would've sworn it was a MCDONALDS, but you guess that's just how distracted you've been.)  
  
Roxy's in the middle of regaling Jude about her FLIGHT over from Hauntswitch when you hear the bell to the restaraunt's door open, and in walks a man in a uniform similar to GENERAL WEST'S. You're not surprised there's military people around this part considering the NATURE of the rest of the MOUNTAIN outside of the Stargate Base. What's MORE surprising is that he's walked in with a woman who's probably his DAUGHTER, and TWO SMALL GIRLS, both strapped into strollers, though the OLDER of the two seems to be outgrowing hers and likely won't be using it for much longer.  
  
You try to distract yourself by watching them go about ordering food and what not when the General suddenly looks your way and seems startled by something.  
  
He excuses himself to his DAUGHTER, and then pulls out an OLD NOTE from his pocket, checking it to whatever he was seeing in your direction.  
  
Then, he comes over your way, a somewhat resigned expression on his face, and he politely coughs to announce his presence.  
  
"Excuse me, Miss, but that symbol on your shirt," he begins, looking at you. "What is it from?"  
  
"Um," You blink, glancing down at the GREEN STARBURST symbol on your shirt. "My mom painted it on my ceiling at home, actually. Then Roxy had it printed on a shirt for me. Why?"  
  
"It's..." The man laughs a bit nervously. "Well, you see it's kind of a long story but a long time ago, someone I trust told me that when I saw a girl with that symbol on her shirt to give her this note."  
  
And so he hands you the note, which you read.  
  
Indeed, somehow, there's your SHIRT'S SYMBOL in the ADDRESSEE space, right down to the same GREEN HUE of the INK.  
  
It simply says, "DON'T TELL PA. USE ONLY IN EMERGENCY" in what looks like it could be YOUR PA'S HANDWRITING- or maybe someone trying to COPY IT?- forced into something more STABLE AND COHERENT than it usually is, followed by a series of _ **[EIGHT SYMBOLS](https://78.media.tumblr.com/de21d1c5eb02bee34278a9f8b6fd7e98/tumblr_oxfj1mnqFz1vxvb19o2_1280.png),**_ one of which you recognize in a HEARTBEAT.  
  
After all, it's the same POINT OF ORIGIN SYMBOL that's on the STARGATE down in the mountain.  
  
You look up at the man, and ask him, "What's your name?"  
  
"General George Hammond, miss," He said.  
  
You offer him your hand, and say, "I'm Joey Cl-" Wait. No. "Harley. Joey Harley, Mr. Hammond, Sir."  
  
This George Hammond seems to have no recognition of your PA's LAST NAME, even as he shakes it.  
  
"Somehow," Hammond says, "I get the feeling I'm going to be hearing that name a lot in the near future."  
  
"Almost certainly, Sir," You say.  
  
And with that, the man turns to return to his family. You hear him brush off his Daughter's question with a response of "National Security." That could almost certainly be the case, honestly. You just have no idea whether it's true or not.  
  
"What was that about?" Roxy asks, peering over the table at the note the man had given you. "A bunch of gibberish?"  
  
"No," you say, "It's a code. I know exactly what it's for."  
  
"Really?" Jude's interest is piqued. "Can I see it?!"  
  
You consider for a moment, then, nod, and say "Just give it back to me when you're done. And don't say anything about what it's about while we're in public, okay?"  
Jude gives you an odd look as he takes the note, and then gives you the widest eyed stare you've ever seen after he takes in the series of SYMBOLS.  
  
"Holy. Sheep." He says quietly, and quickly takes out his own PRIVATE NOTEBOOK to quickly sketch the symbols down before handing you the note back. "Is that what I think it is?"  
  
You nod- your throat going dry.  
  
Somehow, someone knew that General Hammond would one day meet you in this random ass Burger King, see your ONE OF A KIND SHIRT, and then deliver you a STARGATE ADDRESS.  
  
One that has EIGHT SYMBOLS instead of the SEVEN that only just was figured out was necessary to RUN THE DANGED THING in the first place.  
  
Just... what the hell was going on here??

* * *

  
Your name is DANIEL JACKSON, and WOW, DO YOU HAVE A HEADACHE!  
  
When your team ENTERED the ABYDOS PYRAMID, you weren't expecting to get blindsided by a bunch of METAL HEADED MEN using ALIEN TASERS. Nor were you expecting to wake up to the glaring heat of the sun pounding against your face.  
  
You open your eyes, and find that your GLASSES are lying on the ground next to you. Hesitantly, you reach out and grab them, and put them on.  
  
Nobody stops you.  
  
You take a look around and realize... OH. YEAH. THAT WOULD BE WHY.  
  
You, JACK O'NEILL, and JAKE HARLEY are all in some kind of ENERGY CELL in the center of a LARGE, ORNATE SUN ROOM. There are open walls, letting in the sunlight, and fancy DRAPES marked with... PIECES? Why is a modern earth ASTROLOGY SIGN on banners in an otherwise ANCIENT EGYPTIAN ROOM?  
  
A cat MEOWS at you from across the energy walls, and then scampers off.  
  
You sit up, and try to get a sense of your CURRENT STATUS. Let's see now... There was a sand storm, you found out about KHEPRI from Sha're...  
  
Oh. Right.  
  
There was a giant alien space ship on top of the PYRAMID.  
  
You guess you know where you are now, as well as where those METAL HEADED GUARDS came from.  
  
Right.

O'NEILL groans to awareness beside you, and a moment later, Harley SIGHS, and reveals that he's been awake for a while as well by sitting up.  
  
You're wondering where the rest of the team is when a LARGE DOOR on the far side of the room opens up, and a FLOOD of SCANTILY CLAD CHILDREN emerge from it- all of them surrounding a WOMAN wearing A LARGE, BEETLE THEMED HELMET over her head, and dressed in what at first you assume to be a GREY AND VIOLET COLORED BODY SUIT, but in actuality seems to be her ACTUAL SKIN and what would probably count as a BIKINI back on Earth.  
  
More of the METAL HEADED GUARDS emerge from the scenery, as if they'd been hiding behind pillars for just this moment.  
  
You can practically hear the DRAMATIC EGYPTIAN CHANTING in the background music that's-  
  
Wait.  
  
No.  
  
"Is it just me," You hear Jack O'Neill whisper, "or did someone leave the background music on?"  
  
"She always did have a flare for the dramatic," Harley remarks bitterly.  
  
The person who can only be KHEPRI sits down on a throne, crossing her legs and sitting at an angle. The PERPETUAL GRIN etched on the face of her HELMET seems almost natural, despite the majority of it being PITCH OBSIDIAN BLACK, and only highlighted by BRIGHT, VIOLET PAINT.  
  
**["Lower the shield, let them approach my throne,"]** KHEPRI orders in a BOOMING, ECHOING version of the ABYDOSIAN DIALECT. One of the guards PRESSES A BUTTON on their LEFT HAND GUANTLET, and the FORCE SHIELD disappears from around you three, with no sign of a PROJECTOR anywhere in sight.  
  
["To Your Feet, Tau'ri Scum,"] one of the metal headed guards... you think that's a JACKAL THEME on the helmets... points a VERY LARGE AND FRIGHTENING STAFF at your face. The head of it flares open and surges briefly with orange electricity.["Move slow, and make no sudden movements."]  
  
O'neill looks confused at the language, but follows your and Harley's lead on this one.  
  
You carefully approach KHEPRI'S THRONE, and then, when one of the Guards yells ["KNEEL!"] you hurriedly do so.  
  
You DO NOT want to know what that staff would do to you.  
  
KHEPRI sits there, observing you three for a few moments, before laughing.  
  
It's a strange, almost... CHILDLIKE LAUGH.  
  
"Jake. Jakey. Jake-a-reno!," Khepri speaks, suddenly having dropped all pretense of IMPOSING TONE for what... honestly sounds like some kind of TEENAGED GANGSTER way of speaking, surprising O'Neill and yourself. "I was wondering when I would finally see your sorry ass face again."  
  
"You know her?" Jack asks, quietly.  
  
"Unfortunately," Harley says. "Hello again to you, too, Mother."  
  
There's a moment of sheer horror as KHEPRI reaches back, and touche something on the side of her HELMET- causing the entire thing to suddenly SHIFT BACKWARDS AND FOLD IN ON ITSELF until it's simply just NOT THERE, revealing...  
  
Well, it reveals a FACE that looks the same as the METAL SCULPT, except in GREY SKIN instead of THE PITCH BLACK of the helmet's metal. There's PINK MAKEUP in all the places there'd been PAINT. She's GRINNING just the same as her helmet's face had been, except somehow it's MORE TERRIFYING in the flesh than in SCULPT.  
  
You look over at the GUARDS- and see they've done the same thing- revealing their completely human heads to have been hidden behind those IMPOSING, ANIMATRONIC HELMETS.  
  
"You don't call, you don't write!" KHEPRI begins, grinning down at Harley. "A mother starts to wonder where she went wrong when her boy runs away from home!"  
  
"That place was anything but home!" Harley growls. "You had Father Killed when Jane and I were just tykes! You constantly threatened to have our DOG eaten for DINNER for years!! Do you know how terrifying that is for a kid?! Especially when he knows he'll just as soon be on the menu the moment he does something wrong!"  
  
"Oh, please!" KHEPRI scoffs. "Like I'd do that, ya guppy! I had PLANS for you. Plans that you ruined by running away from home like a COWARD!" She then glared at him- and you get a good look at her eyes for the first time as they PULSE a bright yellow before fading to normal- normal being YELLOW ORBS instead of white, framing in BRIGHT PINK IRISES. "So I had to improvise with Janey a little! You know. **All completely YOUR FAULT because you ran away."** She glared at Harley further- her voice gaining more and more of that echoing tone as she pressed forwards with her emotional rant. _**"YOUR FAULT, JAKE. YOUR FAULT FOR WHAT I HAD NIRRTI DO TO HER AND FOR WHAT I HAD DONE TO THAT LOVELY HUSBAND OF HERS TO BOOT!"**_  
  
"...You're lying," Harley laughs- LAUGHS!- in the face of this. "You always let that terrifying voice of yours slip when you lied your ass off to me or Jane. You didn't do anything to her!"  
  
**"Do you REALLY want to test that, Jake?"** KHEPRI snarls, baring ROW AFTER ROW OF RAZOR SHARP TEETH. **"DO YOU?"** She then leans back in her chair, a grin forming on her face once again. **"LET'S SEE IF YOU THINK I'M LYING WITH THIS."** She then said, **"I'M GOING TO DESTROY THE STARGATE THAT BROUGHT YOU HERE BY SENDING YOUR OWN NUCLEAR WARHEAD BACK THROUGH TO EARTH."**  
  
"...What Warhead?" You ask.  
  
"We didn't bring any warhead," Harley says, "there's nothing that could do that anywhere on that cart!"  
  
**"YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT,"** KHEPRI says, snapping her fingers. **"Because it's NOT ON THE CART anymore."**  
  
And then a set of WARRIORS bring in a LARGE CLOTH STRETCHER carrying a large, round, and DANGEROUS LOOKING device.  
  
All courage fades from Harley's face in an instant.  
  
"Where did you get that?" he asked.  
  
**"Why don't you ask your Colonel friend, here,"** KHEPRI says, looking towards O'Neill. **"Go on. Tell my Son _exactly what your MISSION WAS_."** Her eyes flare up with light again.  
  
Instead of talking, Jack O'neill takes a dive towards one of the GUARDS and grabs the STAFF WEAPON- wrestling it away from the guard and quickly aiming it straight at KHEPRI.  
  
_**P~CHOOO!**_  
  
A burst of fire shoots out from the STAFF and slams into KHEPRI face first.  
  
And for a moment as smoke fills the air, everything goes silent.  
  
_**"...Heh."**_  
  
And then when the smoke cleared, you could VISIBLY see the BARELY damaged skin healing over.  
  
_"That tickled,"_ KHEPRI says. "Ra tried the same thing when he realized I was immune to his little hand device." She then raised her right hand, revealing what appeared to be jewelry to in fact be- **" _THIS DEVICE,_ IN FACT."**  
  
Suddenly, all three of you are FLYING across the room and then landing, harshly against the FAR WALL.  
  
"Oww..." Harley groans from the floor. "Don't try that again, Colonel!"  
  
"Wasn't going to..." the Colonel groans back.  
  
From your spot on the floor, you can see KHEPRI stand from her THRONE and begin stalking across the floor towards you. HER GUARD all have SMIRKS on their faces.  
  
**"You know, I was going to leave Earth Alone,"** KHEPRI says, voice ECHOING again. **"Well, until I was sure that the girl who Exiled me here made it to Alternia in the first place, that is. Then I was gonna flood it for a thousand years. Wait for the sun to expand a little. Then put all of my Rejects on it and let them run amok until the planet dies."** She sighs dramatically, reaching out with her left hand and- there's a pulse of BLUE and RED ENERGY from around her hand, and a STAFF WEAPON flies into it from another room.  
  
Psychic energies?? Some kind of Technological trick??  
  
**"But you brought the meatphorical equivalent of a knife to a gunfight,"** Khepri continues. **"So I'm going to accelerate my plans. MAKE. YOU. PAY for it with the knowledge that you DOOMED YOUR OWN PLANET. And, oh, maybe push the girl who exiled me from my EMPIRE a few years ahead of schedule!"**  
  
"Can't we talk about this?" You offer.  
  
**"NO."** And then she aims the STAFF WEAPON at you and-  
  
_**P~CHOO!**_

* * *

  
You are now JACK O'NEILL, and you have FINALLY found out what happens when the weapon hits someone who DOESN'T have a healing factor.  
  
"GAAA--!" And just like that, DANIEL JACKSON falls silent.  
  
**"Stun the Colonel, put him with the others,"** Khepri says while handing the staff over to a guard. **"We will Execute them Tomorrow Afternoon."**  
  
You HEAR before you see a SNAKE SHAPED silver devices pop open in a Guard's hand and--  
  
_PCH-ZYUU!_  
  
The next thing you know, you are being dumped face first into a WATER PIT that KAWALSKI and some of the other TEAM MEMBERS have been shoved into as well.  
  
You've got a feeling today is going to be a VERY SHORT DAY, regardless of what choices you make from here on out.  
  
It takes you about ten minutes to realize that HARLEY isn't in here with you.

* * *

  
  
"You know why Ra Chose you humans for hosts?"  
  
Your name is JAKE HARLEY and you are VERY PISSED OFF at your ADOPTIVE MOTHER right now.  
  
"Come now," Khepri says, laying Daniel Jackson's body into a SARCOPHAGUS LIKE DEVICE. "Surely you're curious."  
  
"No." You say. "I'm not."  
  
She growls, and EXHERTS a PSYCHIC PULSE that you haven't felt since you were SIXTEEN.  
  
You gasp for breath, fall to your KNEES, and your mouth grits out a "YES, YES MA'AM. I'M VERY CURIOUS." that is definitely NOT coming from your heart or brain.  
  
"Good!" Khepri smiles, releasing the pressure on your body, and then turns to activate the DEVICE. It closes up, sealing JACKSON inside. "It's because your bodies are SO easy to heal through external means. My Alternia D.N.A. however, is not quite so simple. In fact, it's just simply TOO complex for any of these devices to get a proper read on." She sighs dramatically, leaning against the edge of the SARCOPHAGUS. "I've never had much use for this Healing device of Ra's beyond reversing the damage I deliver as punishment for failure, that is. The other so-called 'Gods' that work below ME now rely on them too much. Only Yu seems to have the sanity to avoid it, but even then," she chuckls. "He and I are very different in our reasons why."  
  
"Why?" You ask, feeling her leading question and falling back into OLD HABITS to prevent being hit by that DANGEROUS PYSCHIC ENERGY again.  
  
"Why?" She laughs. "It's because of the Gate Builders. Do you know how foolish they were? Seeding Stargates through the Universe as if they planned to explore further and further beyond their own grasp of understanding?" She smiled. "They didn't know what doors they were opening to the greater universe. They were practically begging for people like me to come knocking on their front steps." Her smile faded, "And when _Destiny_ came knocking, sending me their way, oh, did they protest."  
  
"How did they protest?" You ask, genuinely curious.  
  
"Surely you must be wondering," Khepri says, "why, after all these thousands of years, have I not replaced the Human slaves with my own, superior breed of Alternian Troll?" She leaned in close, too close for comfort, and began stroking your face. "At first, I hired Nirrti to do just that. To help me turn Humans into Trolls..." She scoffed. "The Gate Builders, so comfy in their Ascended Bliss, actually thought to take offense at that and consistantly break their non-interference policy again and again."  
  
W...What? You have no idea what she's talking about.  
  
"And then I realized something important when one of my people stumbled upon a curious aspect of the Stargates, something I'd been aware of to some degree but never consciously appreciated for what it was," Khepri continues. "I don't NEED to re-create my people from scratch. The reason I was exiled so far into the past? Is the same reason I can WAIT for the day I was exiled in the first place, and then simply..." She leans in close, stroking at your hair, and breathing against your neck. "Plop myself right back into place the moment they think they've won." She giggles, and presses herself closer- much too close for comfort.  
  
Damn it, this woman may be a fish-faced alien, but she still raised you as your MOTHER!! Get away! You don't want her fishy body pressing so uncomfortably close at all!  
  
"Then," she giggles again, "then I can bring my people from MY GALAXY to this one. The Gate Builders can't kill them all, because I'm not crossing whatever line has them constantly putting my experiments down."  
  
And then you hear the sound of that STUNNER DEVICE opening again.  
  
"I'll be crossing the same lines that brought me here in the first place."  
  
~~_PCH-ZYUU!_~~  
  
The next thing you know, you're SPLASHING DOWN in a WATER FILLED JAIL CELL.  
  
"So," O'neill quips. "Are you grounded, or just on Time Out?"  
  
"Shut up, O'neill," You say, splashing water at him angrily.  
  
A Bomb!? A BOMB. You knew General West was UNDERHANDEDLY doing SOMETHING, but THIS??  
  
And now it's doomed the Earth.  
  
What an Asshole. At least O'NEILL has the decency to look ashamed of himself.

* * *

 

  
Your... Your name is DR. DANIEL JACKSON and you...  
  
You're quite sure that you DIED, going by the hole in the front of your SHIRT.  
  
At least whatever that FIREBOLT WAS seems to have spared CATHERINE'S NECKLACE from damage.  
  
That Necklace of RA that brought you to the city. To Sha're. To...  
  
To RA's MURDERER.  
  
And she's Jake Harley's MOTHER, of all people.  
  
You're NOT QUITE SURE how to deal with that, and instead, you focus on climbing out of the apparent RESURRECTION DEVICE.  
  
["Ah, you're awake,"] there's a cooing voice from behind you, and you turn around.  
  
There, standing calmly in clothes much too revealing for a girl her age, is someone who actually looks QUITE A BIT like JAKE HARLEY'S DAUGHTER.  
  
Except, she's quite clearly NOT, because she has CAT EARS and A CAT TAIL.  
  
["You're one of Khepri's cursed ones,"] you observe.  
  
["Cursed, blessed, is it not all the same thing?"] the girl smiles mysteriously. ["But no, I am not one of Lady Ra's. I am Jayni, First Prime to Nirrti. An ambassador of sorts."] She smiles mysteriously, and moves towards an exit. ["Lady Ra is waiting for you."]  
  
You follow her back into the THRONE ROOM, watching her tail swish to and fro for just a moment before focusing on the BAR-CODE LIKE TATTOO printed on her skin just above said tail. You can barely read the TINY EGYPTIAN at this distance, but it looks like it reads "CLONE" and a series of numbers.  
  
["Who are you?"] you ask.  
  
["I told you that,"] she answers.  
  
["No, I mean, who are you cloned from?"] You clarify.  
  
The girl pauses, and looks over her shoulder at you. ["I doubt the names mean anything to you. I was cloned from one Jane Crocker and her Husband, one Albert Egbert. I would biologically be their daughter, if not for Lady Nirrti's modifications."]  
  
You ruminate on that, and then ask, ["Jane Crocker... Jake Harley's sister?"]  
  
["That would be her, yes,"] Jayni smiles mysteriously, and then resumes walking towards whatever destination she has in mind. ["Do be aware that Lady Ra takes her mid-afternoon bath at this time, and so she may be somewhat cross when talking to you. Your ressurection took longer than expected. For some reason the Sarcophagus was encountering trouble mending your eyes. Hence, I was called in to expedite the process."]  
  
And then you realize for the first time that your GLASSES are MISSING, and yet you can see CLEARLY as if you were wearing them.  
  
["You're welcome,"] Jayni says, and then leads you through a CURTAINED HALLWAY. She pauses before the last curtain, and announces herself: ["Lady Ra, your Mortal has returned from Anubis's realm. If you are satisfied with the results?"]  
  
**["Good work, Jayni. Tell Nirrti that I am pleased with your work. You're definitely deserving of a promotion,"]** Khepri's voice floats, melodiously through the curtains. You hear a swooshing of water. _**["Send him in."]**_  
  
["You may enter,"] Jayni says, bowing to you. ["Though, if I may offer a word of caution, Doctor Jackson. I would not take up any offers of hers for you to be the father of her children."] She winks at you suggestively, ["It's quite impossible without further modifications to your body, as it stands."]  
  
And then with a giggle that sets your spine on edge, the CAT GIRL slips away back the way you came. A moment later, you hear a loud BUZZING SOUND, followed by several large SOMETHINGS moving and then a WHOOSH sound. Then it all reverses.  
  
You brace yourself with a brash, and then you push through the curtains, and find yourself in a LARGE BATHING CHAMBER.  
  
KHEPRI sits in the middle of it all, on a THRONE made up of WATER JETS. How that's possible, you don't dare dwell on. Nor do you dwell on her body for any longer than necessary to locate her eyes and keep yours locked firmly there.  
  
**["Well, _well,_ "]** She coos at you. **["Look who survived their first trip back from death's door. If this were my galaxy, the Handmaiden would not let you escape so easily. But fortunately, this is not my galaxy and she has no sway here."]**  
  
["I was dead?"] you ask for confirmation.  
  
**["I killed you, and then I raised you,"]** Khepri says. **["Is that not what a god does?"]**  
  
["But you're not a god."]  
  
She narrows her eyes at you. **[" _I could kill you, and bring you back again just for that insolent statement_. But I'm on a tight schedule. And tick tock, time is dead soldiers."]**  
  
["What do you want?"] you ask. ["What do you plan to do?"]  
  
**["I've told you what I plan to do,"]** Khepri says, **["and I've told my son what I want- all in the long term. But I suppose you mean short term? Hm."]** She stands from her water throne, and it collapses into the bathing pool. **["I want you to kill your friends at the execution tomorrow afternoon."]**  
  
["Why?"] you ask, making sure to keep your eyes above chest level.  
  
**["A multitude of reasons,"]** Khepri says, beginning to pace around her pool of water. **["The first is that I want to prove to the Abydosians that I AM their GOD, and that nothing some rebellious visitors from another planet can do will change that. By having you execute your friends at my command, that will shore up that I can turn a Rebel to my cause, and have them permanently at my side from then on. Loyal to the last."]**  
  
["And the second?"] you ask.  
  
**["The second is that you amuse me, Jackson,"]** Khepri smiles a sultry smile. **["You came so close to striking upon the truth back on Earth. You just had to convince people of the truth... and they wouldn't listen because you did not have the conviction."]** She steps out of the pool, and begins walking along the edges towards you. **["You kill your friends, and I will reward you greatly."]**  
  
"How?" you ask, voice choking up as she strides up close to you, locking her eyes with yours.  
  
**"I _won't_ send the bomb to Earth,"** she promises in a whisper, reaching a finger out and strolling it up from your right hand towards your shoulder, **"and I will make it so that nobody on Earth will EVER doubt a thing you say ever again. You will have Riches Untold."** She begins dragging her nail up along the side of your neck- pausing at your jaw. **"You will have all the Women that your heart desires. Your fill of an all you can eat buffet, if you like that kind of metaphor."**  
  
Your heart is racing, and your brain feels FUZZY. You think, out of the corner of your eye, you can see some kind of GLOWING SYMBOL over KHEPRI'S FOREHEAD- is that... the sign for Scorpio?  
  
"And to this, I promise you," she finishes, her voice returning to a 'normal', unaltered tone of foice. "you will be IMMORTAL. By my side for all eternity. And when the Stargate on Alternia finally opens again..." her eyes flash in yours, and in a moment of sudden shock, she RIPS Catherine's Necklace off of your throat. **["EVERYONE WILL UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE RA."]**  
  
And then she turns on a heel, and strides off, her hips swaying dramatically.  
  
And so you're left just... Standing there. Unsure of what to do at all.  
  
You think back on KHEPRI'S PROMISES... and you realize that none of it matters.  
  
She's likely going to send the Bomb to Earth anyways. Any GIRLS she'd send your way anyways are likely to be slaves just as forced into service as you're being...  
  
And besides, you're not that kind of Guy. You think there might be only ONE GIRL for you, now.  
  
You wonder, actually, what she's doing right now. If she's safe, or...  
  
No. Best not to think about possible negative scenarios.  
  
You've got to focus on a PLAN right now. How do you SAVE YOUR TEAM from imminent death tomorrow?

* * *

  
Your name is SHA'RE, and as you explain YOUR PLAN to your fellow ABYDOSIAN KIDS- the SURVIVORS of the RAID that Ra's DEATH GLIDERS carried out on your HOME CITY- and try your best to communicate with the two other UN-CAPTURED members of DANIEL'S TEAM, your thoughts are fluttering around like FLIES to DEAD MEAT over the worry that DANIEL might have died.  
  
Such a Useless Husband, getting CAPTURED or KILLED by a FALSE GOD before you could even consummate your marriage. But you think you might like like him anyways.  
  
You hope that one day they'll make a story about you. The BRAVE WARRIOR WIFE who saved her HUSBAND from a HARLOT FAKE GOD. Yes, that would be an amazing story.  
  
You get the feeling that tomorrow, THE THIRTEENTH DAY of ABYDOS'S FOURTH MONTH, is going to be a VERY LONG DAY indeed.


	4. Act 1 Act 4: Since 1969

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are made, Plans are executed.

**_BWRRRRMMMM_ \- VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM.**  
  
Your name is JAKE HARLEY and DAMN if these FLOATING RINGS aren't LOUD, descending from the ceiling like they have any reason to be-  
  
_**VWROOOOOSSSH!**_  
  
-wait what?  
  
**VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM- _WRMMMMMMMM._**  
  
And then the rings are ascending back up into the CEILING OF THE PYRAMID, and then the ceiling closed up again.  
  
One of the GUARDS escorting you touches a button on their LEFT GAUNTLET, shutting the system down with a curt _**SHK**_.  
  
So that's what an ALIEN ELEVATOR looks like when BASED ON RING SHAPED DEVICES. It's like a SHORT RANGE STARGATE, you guess.  
  
The Guards order you all to exit through the Pyramid, and soon, you're forced down on the ramp to wait for your deaths infront of THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF THE NEAREST TOWN, all gathered outside the Pyramid.  
  
You have a feeling today is going to be a GREAT DAY.

...That was sarcasm. You were being sarcastic. You're not even sure why you bothered pointing that out to yourself. Maybe you're finally just starting to loose it. Go crazy. Insane. Three fries short of a HAPPY MEAL.

WHACKO!!!

...You really wish you had some ketchup and mustard and a plate all of a sudden.

* * *

 

Your name is JACK O'NEILL and you're waiting, watching, with baited breath as a SOMEHOW ALIVE DANIEL JACKSON walks down the ramp to the Pyramid, STAFF WEAPON in hand.  
  
On either side of you are the REMAINING MEMBERS OF YOUR TEAM- HARLEY, KAWALSKI, and JENKINS- who you admittedly don't know as well as the others. You think his first name might've been LEEROY? But hell if you'll ever find out after today and right now seems like a HORRID TIME to ask.  
  
Harley, next to you, laments sadly that JACKSON is likely under Khepri's THRALL, whatever that means. You guess he's a Zombie or something. Damn, what a way to go out.  
  
Then you see a glint of light flashing against Jackson's face and, he flinches slightly, stops moving.  
  
You don't dare turn to look and follow his suddenly shifting gaze. Just as you don't flinch when the STAFF WEAPON opens.  
  
You DO, HOWEVER, JUMP A LITTLE in SURPRISE as Jackson wheels around and FIRES OFF a blast at KHEPRI dead on. _**P~CHOO!**_ You hear KHEPRI CRY OUT in SURPRISE as the blast hits her dead in the center of her chest- and then before any of the other GUARDS can react- a rapid fire POP-POP-POP rings out as BULLETS impact them and the ground in front of them.  
  
And then suddenly everyone is moving, running as GUNS ARE FIRED, STAFF WEAPONS GO OFF, DIRT FLIES EVERYWHERE, and then the next thing you know you're being HIDDEN AWAY in the crowd as some of the LOCALS wrap you up in ROBES.  
  
You risk looking BACK for a single moment, and see that, unfortunately, JENKINS did not make it through the encounter unscathed.  
  
You ALSO see that KHEPRI'S BODY is somehow FLOATING IN MID AIR, with a RED AND BLUE FLICKERING AURA surrounding her even as BRIGHT, PINK BLOOD flows upwards back into her body from where it had been pooling on the ground from the STAFF BLAST.  
  
Just what the HELL?  
  
No. Seriously. WHAT THE HELL.  
  
"That's just Cheating!" You protest.  
  
There's no way something like that should be even POSSIBLE in this universe.  
  
You're suddenly VERY CERTAIN ABOUT THAT. Khepri untapped some STRANGE ALIEN POWER that has NO BUSINESS BELONGING IN THIS VERSION OF REALITY. You're not sure HOW you know that, but it's there: a staggering sense of IMPOSSIBLE as reality cries a little from being forced to do something it shouldn't.  
  
Less than half an hour later, you're all ENCAMPED in what you're able to GUESS is the GATE ADDRESS TEMPLE. "ALL" in this case, being every surviving member of your team (BROWN seems to have not made it either) and a bunch of the ABYDOS KIDS.  
  
FERRETTI opens the can of DIALOGUE WORMS by asking the question running on your mind, "So, just exactly how screwed are we here?"  
  
Harley takes center stage now, sighing dramatically as he prepares to talk.  
  
"I'm sure some of you know, I lived a very... troubled life before I became an adventurer," he says, and Daniel translates for the Abydosians. "My mother made it very clear from the first moment I'm able to remember to both me and my sister that she was a horrible monster. I knew only so much about her, but I knew enough to know that she wasn't human. Meenah Crocker," he practically spits the name out, "I knew that wasn't her real name, but for years it was the only name I had for her. Khepri... Ra... It all makes sense now."  
  
"What do you mean?" Carter asks.  
  
"Ol' Rainbow Voice back there," You pipe in, "apparently showed up in Ancient Egypt under the name Khepri. Then she had Ra for dinner."  
  
" _Had_ Ra for dinner?" Kawalski asks, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Literally," Jackson says.  
  
"...Ah." Kawalski's eyes widen slightly. "That's... kind of disturbing."  
  
"What's more disturbing is the fact that Harley's 'Mother dearest' has a penchant for genetic manipulation, and an alliance with someone who's just as skilled at it," Jackson points to his glassess-less eyes. "They healed my eyes when they brought me back. My. Inherited. Bad. Eyesight. I haven't seen this clearly without help since I was three."  
  
You hadn't even noticed that.  
  
"That's incredible," Carter says. "The technological advances alone required to do that..."  
  
"Aren't compatible with Mother's Alien D.N.A.," Harley says, "she told me that herself. Apparently it's too complex for whatever healing machinery Ra has to work on properly."  
  
"Hence her teaming up with some Genetic Scientist," you suppose that makes sense. "Is that healing factor part of that, you think?"  
  
"No, didn't you hear her when you shot her in the face?" Harley asks. "She said Ra tried the exact same thing. I think that's naturally just a Part of her base genetics. However..." He shakes his head. "That light show from earlier is NEW. I suspect it's some bio-luminescence trick she's grafted into her blood that gets triggered when she uses her Psionics."  
  
"Psionics?" Several people asked that at once- a few Abydosians included. Huh, apparently they recognize THAT word, somehow.  
  
"O'neill, do you remember when she summoned that staff to her hand?" Harley asks. "The red and blue flash? That's one of her psychic powers. She has others, too. Limited Animal Communion, a horrifying ability to puppet your mouth, or make you fall asleep. I think she even has a minor ability to summon ghosts. As a child, she told me powers like that were common place among her people. Usually one to a person, but of course she would have her ways to unlock multiple abilities at once."  
  
"...Well, crap," Ferretti mutters. "A self healing psychic. That's such bullshit. How exactly do we kill a person who can heal from just about anything and can probably read our minds?"  
  
"Well..." Harley gives you a pointed look, and you mull it over for a moment.  
  
Then you come to a conclusion that Harley's probably been mulling over since LAST NIGHT.  
  
"Maybe there's a way," You say. "But I've got a confession to make, first. General West had an ulterior motive for sending me here, one that he lied to me about too. My mission orders were, in case of a threat to humanity, to destroy the Stargate on this side with an explosive device once the team had returned home."  
  
A lot of eyes turn towards you in surprise and shock, and you brace yourself to say one sentence that's likely to turn everyone against you.  
  
"I was lied to. The bomb wasn't supposed to be Nuclear."  
  
That gets a lot of enraged shouts from your teammates.  
  
Well, until Harley coughs loudly, that is.  
  
"So General West betrayed us all," he says, knowingly. "You were saying, Jack?"  
  
"The minute I realized it was a Nuclear warhead, I stopped assembling it. Setting something like that off here... I don't want that on my conscience. So I kept the control circuit on me at all times to keep anyone from assembling it, too," you sigh. "Khepri took it from me when she captured us. She said she's going to send it through to earth to destroy the Gate from that side."  
  
"Worse, actually," Jackson said. "She left me a little bit too much free reign after reviving me. I was able to find out she plans to set the timer so it goes off right next to the Gate. The mineral that the Gate is made of is supposedly going to make the expected yield about a thousand times worse than the bomb would be on it's own."  
  
"The same mineral they're mining here on Abydos?" Kawalski asks. "What the hell is that Gate made out of?"  
  
"NAQUADAH," Jackson says. "It took me a minute to figure out what that word meant, until I realized it's a name. Not only is it super conducting, according to the research notes I saw on the Ship's computer, it's also super explosive under the right circumstances."  
  
"How right are the right circumstances?" You ask.  
  
"If you feed enough energy into it that the mineral starts to melt, rather than conduct electricity, basically." Jackson pauses. "A nuclear explosion would do the trick, all things considered."  
  
"Out of curiosity," you voice, "do you think that giant thing on top of the pyramid is made out of the same mineral?"  
  
"For parts of it? It's almost a certainty," Harley says. "I got the impression all of Ra's technology ran on it."  
  
"Carter, hypothetically, let's say that pyramid thing is made up of about... twenty, thirty percent of this Naquadah stuff. If a small shipment- Jackson?"  
  
"It didn't say how much was being sent, but I'd guess about a pound, maybe?"  He shrugs.  
  
"So if a solid pound increases the yield of a bomb by a thousand percent... how big of a boom are we talking about if we set that bomb off inside Khepri's ship?" You ask.  
  
"I'm not sure where to even begin with a calculation like that," Carter exclaims. "I'm not sure anything would survive with the ship on the surface. We'd probably be safest if it detonated in orbit, but there's no telling what would happen." She pauses, "Wait. Are you seriously considering trying to overwhelm Khepri's regeneration with a nuclear explosion?!"  
  
"He's not," Harley said, "I have been, however."  
  
"It makes sense, though," you say. "If Khepri's regeneration can let her come back from a staff blast to the face or chest within seconds, then we simply have to deal so much damage there's nothing left to regenerate from."  
  
"So we just need to give Harley's alien mother a reason to leave the planet, and a way to get the bomb on her ship without her noticing until it's too late," Ferretti summarizes. "Wonderful! How are we going to do that, exactly?"  
  
"It's easy, actually," Harley says. "We give Khepri exactly what she's been afraid of since she was exiled to Earth."  
  
You look to Daniel, who's just finishing translating the rest of the conversation to the Abydosian kids. They all nod in clear cut understanding as you open your mouth again.  
  
"A rebellion."

* * *

  
  
Your name is ROXY LALONDE.  
  
You're not sure WHY Joey wanted to go back to the Military base, or why she wanted to search her PA'S OFFICE SAFE again so badly, but you're happy to drop her off and leave her there while you take Jude on a tour of the town (something he's requested since you left Burger King yesterday).  
  
As you're exiting the BASE'S ELEVATORS, you run into that GENERAL HAMMOND guy from yesterday too. This time, however, he's accompanied by the suited folks you recognize as MILITARY LAWYERS and OTHER HIGH RANKING OFFICIALS.  
  
Jude gives the man a cheerful wave as they walk past you to enter the elevator, and he gives the boy a nod in return.  
CAHOOTS! You call CAHOOTS!  
  
You have no idea what's going on, but you're gonna say that anyways.  
  
_**CAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOTS.**_  


* * *

 

Your name is GEORGE HAMMOND, an AIR FORCE GENERAL on a MISSION FROM THE FUTURE. There's no hyperbole or metaphor involved, as you got put on this lead by a NOTE FROM YOURSELF left in the jacket pocket of AN ACCIDENTAL TIME TRAVELER who wound up on this VERY SAME BASE back in 1969.  
  
The "NOTE" was actually three separate notes, two of which were directed to be delivered to people OTHER THAN YOURSELF, and have ALREADY BEEN DELIVERED, one back in 1969, and one JUST YESTERDAY.  
  
The third NOTE, was actually addressed to you, and gave you some suggestions towards INVESTIGATIVE LEADS for you to follow if you so wished IN WHICHEVER ORDER YOU DESIRED.  
  
Naturally, as it was all IN YOUR OWN HANDWRITING, you figured you'd get to them eventually in your own time, and as sure as yesterday's encounter panned out, they did. Unsurprisingly, they did so in the exact order that they'd been written down in.  
  
You'd found a strange sense of humor in the fact that most of these TIME TRAVEL NOTES were completely INCOMPREHENSIBLE to you until you'd ended up doing the very thing they described.  
  
For example, the ITEM ON TODAY'S AGENDA, the SECOND TO LAST ITEM on the list you have left to do, was written down as "Invest in G. West Mark 3" which you'd thought was possibly something related to STOCK MARKETS until your SUPERIORS, THREE WEEKS AGO, gave you a job to INVESTIGATE GENERAL WEST for the STRANGE DISAPPEARANCE of a MARK THREE NUCLEAR WARHEAD.  
  
Every single one of those vague instructions had a weird phrasing like that, except for the last one which told you in no uncertain terms to 'FINISH THE LOOP.'  
  
Well, you suppose since you've once again wound up at CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN COMPLEX, the time for THAT DAY is fast approaching.  
  
Down the elevators you go to LEVEL TWENTY SEVEN, where you've been told GENERAL WEST'S OFFICE resides.  
  
You blow past every security check with every flash of the ARREST WARRANT one of your accompanying LAWYERS shows the guards. As you march down the hallways, you get the sense that if this were a MOVIE, there would be dramatic, swelling, _**[HEROIC MUSIC](https://youtu.be/p_RVDq-AjlY?t=1m10s)**_ playing in the background as you make your way to General West's OFFICE.

Unsurprisingly, as you pass by what looks to be A CAFETERIA, you spy a familiar looking girl- the same one from yesterday. It's really of no surprise, considering her BABYSITTER AND BROTHER were just exiting the base as you were entering.  
  
You give her a nod as you march past, and she gives a small nod in return.

Naturally, you notice she follows along behind your group at a respectable distance about half a minute later. Well, you suppose she's going to be for quite the show.

  
You enter the CONFERENCE ROOM, overlooking what you're told is part of a CIVILIAN RESEARCH PROJECT, but you know DAMN WELL is the likely culprit behind throwing four TIME TRAVELERS your way all those years ago.  
  
You look at WEST'S OFFICE, and see the head of said research project, CATHERINE LANGFORD, is arguing with WEST over something. It sounds like he wants to PUT AN IRIS OVER THE GATE without first seeing if anyone from the TEAM IS EVER COMING BACK FIRST.

Well, as if you didn't have plenty good of a reason to remove him from duty as it was.

You barge into West's office in the middle of him yelling something outrageous that he quickly cuts off mid sentence for another yell of "AND JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO BARGE IN HERE LIKE THIS!?"

"General West, I'm General Hammond," you introduce yourself. "This is Mr. Barnes, from Supply And Resource Management."

"What do you want?" West quickly bottles his temper, though it shows on his face.

"I'm here to relieve you from active duty," you say, and the rage surges across West's face. "For reasons of Espionage, and Treason."

"What- That's not right!" West seems startled. "You can't be serious! I've never-"

"Stolen a Mark Three Nuclear Warhead and vanished it away to places unknown for reasons also unknown?" You offer, and the man, and Miss Langford as well, go pale. "Please, General West. If you thought you could hide that, in addition to the multitude of off the books payments you've been receiving for the last ten years, you were sorely mistaken. Your paper trail wasn't as well hidden as you thought it was." You motion for one of the SOLDIERS at your side to bring out the handcuffs. "All it took was you over-reaching for one VERY HOT commodity to expose your misdeeds. The Joint Chiefs will be VERY interested to know what you did with that Nuke and why you had it stolen."

"You'll pay for this!" West yells as he's handcuffed and escorted out of the office. "YOU'LL PAY FOR IT WITH YOUR LIVES!!!"

"What happens now?" Langford asks of you. "What of my Project?"

"I'm to take over," you say, "make sure it's being run to code and West didn't have any other improper misconducts that we're not yet aware of." Then. "And if I find anything wrong, I'll fix it."

"And West?" she asks.

"If he's lucky, he'll be spending most of his time in a jail cell for the next ten years," You answer. "If not, it could be a Life sentence."

"Good Riddance, I say," Langford mutters, and honestly, you're very inclined to agree.

Now, you just need to find out what happened to that damned bomb.


	5. Act 1 Act 5: Death by Desert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Condesce gets dealt a TERRIBLE HAND.

Your name, once upon a time was MEENAH PIEXES. Then, you ASCENDED TO THE THRONE, and became HER IMPERIAL CONDESCENSION, EMPRESS OF THE ALTERNIA EMPIRE.  
  
Long ago, a previous EMPRESS had captured an ALIEN SPACESHIP capable of CREATING STARGATES. There wasn't much they could DO with this ship and it's GATES other than SEED THE GATES it produced by the MILLIONS throughout the various worlds within the galaxy.  
  
When you ascended, and began your MARCH OF CONQUEST, naturally you made your own... CHANGES to these Stargates. [_**A NEW AND UNIQUE SYMBOL SET**_](https://78.media.tumblr.com/ec179a49c1f57e400288f65bb6091ae4/tumblr_oxfj1mnqFz1vxvb19o1_1280.png), for starters, loosely based on the glyphs left in the ship's DATABASE for the Gates that were to be used in the ORIGIN GALAXY that this ship had been launched from.  
  
You ruled for what seemed to be only TEN SOLAR SWEEPS when AN EXPLORATION SHIP SENT AFTER THE SEEDER finally arrived. Use of the gates had speed up your CONQUEST of the galaxy, yes... but capturing THAT SHIP... oh... DID CAPTURING IT CHANGE THINGS. You reworked it into your PRIMARY FLAGSHIP- HER IMPERIAL CRUISER- and UTTERLY SEIZED CONTROL OF THE MORE EXPANSIVE DATABASE WITHIN. Oh there was SO. MUCH. KNOWLEDGE.  
  
You ruled unchallenged for THOUSANDS OF SWEEPS MORE, and then A THOUSAND MORE, AND A THOUSAND MORE, AND A THOUSAND MORE. All the while, you SPREAD YOUR GNARLED CLAWS across the GALAXY.  
  
There were rebellions, sure. But you put them down. After the one involving that bastard THE SUMMONER, however, you made sure to REVOKE ALTERNIA'S GATE PRIVILEGES.  
  
That one was TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT.  
  
Things went smoothly for many more countless SOLAR SWEEPS after that, and you generally DIDN'T PAY ALTERNIA MUCH ATTENTION, leaving it in the hands of CHILDREN and countless HEIRESSES that came and went as they killed EACH OTHER MERCILESSLY.  
  
...You failed to notice when ANOTHER REBELLION happened. Day after terrorizing day, week after tormenting week, month after AGONIZING HUMAN MONTH- they chipped away at your EMPIRE'S HOLDINGS while you were FOCUSED ON OTHER THINGS.  
  
By the time you finally noticed what was happening, SO MUCH OF YOUR EMPIRE was in OPEN REBELLION that you took your ship and began to hastily return to ALTERNIA in hopes of crushing the leadership.  
  
You needed not bother- for the REBELLION CAME TO YOU.  
  
Somehow they'd gotten their hands on a Stargate capable of DIALING ONTO YOUR SHIP'S STARGATE, and they BOARDED YOUR SHIP through it. The fight that ensued was one that you DON'T LIKE TO DWELL ON, save for the one fact you learned during the one moment you had the upper hand during the fight.  
  
Among them was a HUMAN GIRL who had the AUDACITY to wear a MOONLESS MOCKERY of what had once been ALTERNIA'S POINT OF ORIGIN symbol on her shirt in that MUTANT RED COLOR of the SUFFERER. You'd PROBED HER MIND, and discovered but the barest of scant information- The SYMBOL was EARTH, and it was in ANOTHER GALAXY, home to the STARGATES you'd seen in the databases.  
  
There were other things you'd gleaned- meaningless in the face of the fact that the GATE BUILDERS HAD COME FOR YOUR PERVERSION OF THEIR TECHNOLOGY- that was enough for THE REBELS to get the UPPER HAND AGAINST YOU and somehow DIAL BACK TO EARTH and EXILE YOU THROUGH THE GATE. One of those memories you'd stolen was the image of yourself with the name KHEPRI.  
  
And so you used it until remade yourself into RA- ripping out that FALSE GOD'S ALIEN SPINE-SNAKE and EATING IT WHOLE. You'd consumed his memories, and the amazing genetic tricks such as the GLOWING EYES and the ECHOING POWER VOICE, and then took his place. Naturally, that was when you were BLINDSIDED BY YET ANOTHER REBELLION.  
  
You were forced to FLEE to a pitiful planet called ABYDOS. And damn it all if another REBELLION didn't happen.  
  
That time, you PUT IT DOWN, and you RULED UNCHALLENGED EVER SINCE.  
  
Well... Unchallenged until TODAY.  
  
Those stupid finless, think skinned, hornless HUMANS.  
  
People native to that planet- Earth- just seem to be nothing but trouble.  
  
You'd thought to arrange events on EARTH to prepare for your own EVENTUAL EXILE, but it seems you're going to have to scrap those plans and PRAY that you don't WIPE YOURSELF OUT OF EXISTENCE by way of TIME PARADOX.  
  
All because of yet another English damned Rebellion.  
  
You've been shot TWICE in as many days with STAFF WEAPONS, so you demanded TRIBUTE as recompense. The locals sent along a CARAVAN full of WHATEVER PRICELESS TRINKETS they hadn't already given you.  
  
Of course, that was when those damned HUMANS revealed themselves to have been hiding in plain sight as the CARAVANERS. You JUST closed the TEMPLE DOORS and sent out GLIDERS to deal with the people outside.  
  
Of course, it seems the humans have kept hold of their STOLEN STAFF WEAPONS, and are using them to GREAT EFFECT to keep your GLIDERS AT BAY.  
  
You growl. This is getting out of hand. There's no doubt ENEMIES within the temple already, so they'll be...  
  
They'll be trying to stop you from destroying Earth's STARGATE.  
  
You turn to your FIRST PRIME, and order him to send the Bomb to Earth. No sense putting off the inevitable now.  
  
_**BWRRRRMMMM**_ \- You hear the RINGS activate in the background- **VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM.**  
  
You settle back in your OBSERVATION WINDOW THRONE and look out over the battle.  
  
_**VWROOOOOSSSH!**_  
  
And off your FIRST PRIME goes to send the bomb.  
  
**VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM- _WRMMMMMMMM._**  
  
Any minute now, you'll hear the telltale KAWOOSH of a Stargate, and then Earth will be done for.  
  
You scowl when you see one of the STUPID SMELLY HUMANS get a lucky shot in on one of the GLIDERS, sending it careening to a crashing halt in the distance. There's a brief explosion of sand a moment later, followed by a second, more fire-filled explosion just a moment after that.  
  
Damn it all, those things are expensive.  
  
You weigh the COST RISK/BENEFITS and decide ANOTHER GLIDER must be sent out.  
  
You send the signal, and off it goes.  
  
Vwoooosh. Screeee. Pew Pew Pew.  
  
You WASTE EXACTLY FOUR MINUTES THIRTEEN SECONDS watching these pointless shenanigans before you realize you should have heard the STARGATE OPEN by now.  
  
You frown, and turn in your seat, just in time to watch JACKSON carrying some LOCAL GIRL away from your SARCOPHAGUS CHAMBER!  
  
How the hell did he get on board??  
  
...Wait. THE RINGS!! They're still HUMMING!!  
  
You roar, running down the hallway, your HAND RIBBON GAUNTLET pulsing with energy ready to deliver straight into a certain human's skull.  
  
Jackson glances over his shoulder, and picks up the pace, hurrying faster towards the RINGS.  
  
You run FASTER, and catch them right as they get to the platform.  
  
_**"YA'LL AREN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE!"**_ you roar, and slam your HAND DEVICE against Jackson's HEAD- forcing CURRENTS OF ELECTRICITY into his body.  
He DROPS his little LOCAL GIRL to the floor, and you forget about her- instead RELISHING in taking the time to KILL JACKSON AS PAINFULLY AS POSSIBLE.  
  
Of course, that's to YOUR MISTAKE, as a moment later- **VRM VRM VRM VRM** \- You hear the RINGS begin to DESCEND from above.  
  
You retract your arm in horror- except, suddenly, you're flipping head over heels and are lying out flat on your back, staring into the SUDDENLY ELECTRIC GREEN EYES of the local girl who's holding your RIGHT ARM against the ground while she gives you a SAVAGE GRIN that would be more at home on- **VRM VRM VRM VRM** , the RINGS intercept your view of her a moment befo--  
  
_**VWROOOOOSSSH!**_  
  
**PAIN!**  
  
**PAIN AND SUFFERING AND BLOODY FUCKING STUMPS!!!**  
  
_**YOUR ARM!!!!**_  
  
**THAT BITCH USED THE RINGS _TO CUT OFF YOUR ARM!!!!!!!!_**  
  
As you pull yourself to your feet and the RINGS retract into the ceiling, you're DISMAYED to see your FIRST PRIME'S HEAD lying there. BEHEADED by the rings just like your ARM was.  
  
_**DAMN.**_  
  
_**THESE.**_  
  
_**SMELLY.**_  
  
_**HUMANS!!!!!!!!**_  
  
You drag yourself over to the OBSERVATION WINDOW, and you're HORRIFIED TO SEE that your GLIDER PILOTS made the mistake of getting out of their ships and got overwhelmed by SUDDEN REINFORCEMENTS.  
  
It's like they PLANNED THIS.  
  
Wait.  
  
Planned?  
  
YOUR PLAN.  
  
THE BOMB.  
  
THE RINGS.  
  
You HIGHTAIL it to your SHIPS CONTROLS and begin ascending towards the upper atmosphere while you're still RETRACTING THE SUN ROOF COVERS- it's SURPRISINGLY HARD TO DO the proper launch sequence with ONLY ONE ARM.  
  
You HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE RING"S TRANSMAT RANGE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!  
  
Unfortunately, by messing up the LEAVING SEQUENCE, your SHIP doesn't ASCEND quite nearly fast enough, and by the time you're actually in the UPPER ATMOSPHERE just a mere MINUTE LATER-  
  
_**BWRRRRMMMM-**_ You hear the RINGS activate in the background once more- **VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM.**  
  
You hesitantly make your way over to the RINGS to see if your FEARS ARE JUSTIFIED.  
  
_**VWROOOOOSSSH!**_  
  
You gulp down a breath of air as you see a pool of your own ROYAL BLOOD start pooling out from beneath the rings.  
  
Did... Did they send you back your ARM?  
  
**VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM VRM- _WRMMMMMMMM_. SHKT.**  
  
Yes.  
  
They did indeed send you BACK YOUR ARM, crudely RECONFIGURED to show its MIDDLE FINGER at you, from its position sequestered on top of the STRETCHER that the BOMB, which set to 5 seconds, and a small shipment of- Oh, surprise surprise, the Humans CAN LEARN. They've added a small shipment of NAQUADAH along with the bomb. You'd almost be impressed if it didn't mean--  
  
**BEEP.** The timer beeps at you, and you look at it.  
  
YOU APPARENTLY WASTED EXACTLY FOUR POINT THIRTEEN SECONDS staring at this ONE LAST OFFENSE, because the timer now reads ONE.  
  
Well.  
  
It seems YOU ARE ROYALLY-  
  
ZERO.  
  
_**"FUUUU--!"**_

* * *

  
Your name is JAKE HARLEY, and you've just completed a FAMILY TRADITION that you've just made up right now.  
  
YOUR MOTHER HAS JUST BEEN ATOMIZED IN HIGH ORBIT by a BRIGHT BLUE FIREBALL, lighting up the LATE-AFTERNOON SKY.  
  
You look around the gathered crowd of REBELS, and see that everyone IS IN HIGH SPIRITS.  
  
_"GET WRECKED, KHEPRI!"_ Ferretti yells out, and throws his hat on the ground with a massive cheer.  
  
Oh, look! Even Daniel and Sha're are kissing now. You feel like you missed some IMPORTANT CONVERSATION or something, because this feels RATHER LEFT FIELD, but then again, considering you DID SPEND A WHOLE SOLID NIGHT sitting in a stone room to hide from A MONSTER SANDSTORM, well...  
  
That's not surprising at all, to be honest.  
  
O'neill gives you a smile, then asks... "So, was it absolutely necessary to give Khepri her middle finger back?"  
  
"Oh, absolutely." You say, flashing a grin. "We didn't want any bits of her regenerating from that stump, now did we?"  
  
"Fair point," O'neill concedes.  
  
You take a deep breath of SHARP, CRISP, DESERT AIR, and exhale slowly in A RELEASE OF TENSION.  
  
You can't wait to get back home and finally find Jane. One of the first things you're going to do is tell her you set off a NUCLEAR WARHEAD in MOTHER'S FACE- or, at least, you hope it went off in her face. That would just be such great CINEMATIC IRONY if that had happened.

Yeah.  
  
Today has been a good day.


	6. Act 1 Act 6: Return to Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to dial home and rest and relax...

Your name is JACK O'NEILL, hopefully SOON TO BE RETIRED COLONEL in the U.S. AIR FORCE, and you've NEVER THOUGHT TO BE SO GLAD to see LUCKY DICE ROLL when it comes to BRUTE FORCING A GATE COMBINATION.  
  
"Guess today's motto is 'first time's the charm,'" you say as the STARGATE's KAWOOSH subsides, then activate your RADIO. "Cheyenne Mountain, this is Colonel O'Neill, reporting in. Over."  
  
There's a brief crackle of the Radio, and then you hear CATHERINE LANGFORD'S VOICE on the other side. _"Colonel O'neill! Good to hear your voice. I take it you ran into some... troubles getting the Gate open?"_  
  
"You could say that," you say in return. "I'll let you know everything in the full debrief on the other side, but for now, I'll leave it at 'We ran into some technichal difficulties arising from General West giving us the wrong type of explosives.'"  
  
 _"Ah, the Mark Three Warhead?"_ Catherine asks, and you blink, surprised.  
  
Well, so does most of the team in the Gate Room, for that matter.  
  
"You knew about that?" Harley asks, curiously.   
  
_"It's a long story, but General Hammond would be more than happy to tell you the story when you return,"_ Catherine replies.   
  
"Excuse me, but did you say General _Hammond_?" You ask. "What happened to General West?"  
  
 _"He's been relieved of duty,"_ says a new, unfamiliar voice- one you can only assume is this GENERAL HAMMOND. _"Colonel O'neill, how soon do you plan on coming back through?"_  
  
"We've just got to pack up base camp and let everyone know we secured a connection," You report. "We weren't sure how long it would take us to figure out the point of origin symbol. Funnily enough, we got it on the first try. So it shouldn't be too long."  
  
 _"So within ten, fifteen minutes tops?"_ HAMMOND asks.   
  
"About that, Sir," you answer.  
  
 _"Good. I'll let security know so they don't raise an alarm this time,"_ and with that, this HAMMOND seems to have walked away, as CATHERINE takes over again.  
  
 _"Colonel O'neill, we'll have a welcome home party ready for you and the team in the Cafeteria when you get back,"_ she says.  
  
"You'll have to leave a couple empty seats," You sadly inform her. "We have a few dead, and Jackson's staying behind to serve as Ambassador for the foreseeable future."  
  
 _"He is?"_ Catherine asks, surprised. _"An Ambassador? To whom?"_  
  
"I am," Daniel says into the radio. "And to the locals, Catherine. We've had a busy couple of days and I'm staying behind to ensure that Earth-side doesn't decide to abandon these people."  
  
 _"I see..."_ Catherine muses. _"Did my necklace give you good luck?"_  
  
"Ah... about that..." Daniel scratches at his head nervously. "I think it-" And then suddenly Sha're is handing him something shiny and golden. "Uhm, never mind. Apparently someone found it when I thought I lost it." He smiles appreciatively to the girl. "Also, there's something else you need to be aware of, Catherine."  
  
 _"What's that?"_ she asks.  
  
"There are more Stargates than just the ones in our Galaxy," he says. "Jake can tell you more about it later."  
  
 _"I see."_ Catherine goes silent for a few seconds before laughing. _"Well! I can see this is going to be a lively debriefing, isn't it?"_  
  
"I'm sure it will be," Daniel says. "Sorry I can't be there for it."  
  
 _"I'm sure you'll be able to make it up to me later,"_ Catherine says, and you can practically hear the smile in her voice. _"I want to hear it all in person, someday."_  
  
"Of course," Daniel nods.

* * *

Soon, the Gate is off again, and your TEAM is packed up and ready to go. You've got the BODIES of the few team members who died all wrapped up in ABYDOSIAN FUNERAL GARB, and tied to STRETCHERS so as to be more easily carried through the Stargate.  
  
"I can't believe we just blew up an alien space ship with a nuclear bomb," Carter says, mostly to herself, as she secures her backpack on her back. "And then we're just... heading home again. Like that's nothing."  
  
"Well, that's the way these things go," Harley says. "You do the mission, return home, and it all feels like a dream afterwards."  
  
"Mission's not completely over just yet, though," you say. "Not 'til the debrief."  
  
"Fair, fair," Harley nods.  
  
You look to Daniel, who's talking with Sha're about something that has them both concerned. It mainly looks like it has to do with that danged necklace.  
  
"Here," Daniel hands it to you when you approach. "Tell Catherine it did bring me luck, but she should probably donate it to a museum."  
  
"Why?" You ask.  
  
"I've got the feeling it's luck has ran out," Daniel says, glancing to his girlfriend. "Sha're said she swiped it off of Khepri when the rings came down, but she doesn't remember how, since she was using both her hands to keep Khepri pinned in place."  
  
"That's... weird?" You offer.  
  
"Yeah," Daniel nods. "Best to not mention that just yet. I've got a suspicion the other natives here have similar abilities, just... suppressed."  
  
"Khepri's Genetic Gifts that keep on Giving?" You ask.  
  
Daniel nods with a grimace.  
  
"Well, damn," you say.   
  
"We're going to work on it and see what comes up," Daniel says. "Hopefully by next check in we'll have figured out what triggers it, and if not..."  
  
"Then we just won't mention it happening at all," you say.  
  
"Probably for the best," Daniel says with a tired sigh. "Anyways, talk to you in a few days?"  
  
"If I'm not retired or relieved of duty," you give a mild shrug. "But who knows if or when either of those'll happen, considering we don't know what happens with West next."  
  
"Here's hoping he doesn't do anything drastic," Daniel says, and you groan.  
  
"D'oh. Now you've jinxed us, Jackson. He's almost certainly going to do something OUTRAGEOUSLY stupid," you lament.

* * *

 

Your name is JOEY HARLEY, and as you sit in the GATE CONTROL ROOM, you watch as person after person exits the gate- some of them carrying STRETCHERS WITH BODIES ON THEM. Your heart clenches at the possibility that your PA is one of them- until you see him step through the gate, taking up the rear along with COLONEL O'NIELL.  
  
You're relieved that he's okay, and yet torn between the idea of running down to greet him and waiting for him to come find you.  
  
In the end, you decide to go half way- and wait in the debriefing room along with CATHERINE LANGFORD.  
  
"Joey!" Your PA says the moment he sees you, and comes running over to swoop you up into a hug that you don't resist against.  
  
You don't know yet what happened on that alien planet, but you know it scared your PA enough to give you A HUG. He always does this when something nearly goes wrong on an adventure and he's come face first with death.  
  
But it didn't claim him this time.  
  
And you're honestly relieved to see that he's okay this time.  
  
You stick around in the meeting room as everyone else filters in, and then GENERAL HAMMOND shows up to run the debrief.  
  
What you learn, you're sure you shouldn't have been hearing. And though you're not given an NDA to sign... you sign one in your head, promising yourself that you're not going to tell JUDE any of this.  
  
He doesn't need to know his GRANDMOTHER tried to send a BOMB to Earth. He doesn't need to know anything about her other than the fact that she's now ASHES AND DUST floating in the upper atmosphere of an ALIEN WORLD.  
  
You honestly kind of want to push it back into a little safe inside your head and forget about it.  
  
But then you remember that photograph you left in your JACKET POCKET and that note that you'd gotten from HAMMOND and--  
  
And you realize you can't just bury your head in the sand.  
  
Your name is JOEY CLAIRE HARLEY, and you've got the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that you haven't seen the LAST of dear old GRANDMA.

* * *

 

Your name is JAKE HARLEY, and you're presently RESTING at your HOUSE in Colorado Springs. You're laid back on your FANCY RECLINER CHAIR, and you've got your TWO KIDS sprawled out across your chest, just content to listen as you give a HEAVILY SANITIZED version of events to Jude and Roxy- who's sitting in her own chair nearby. Sanitized with so many names redacted to protect his innocent mind, and all deaths except the one that counts the most scrubbed clean by erasing them from the tale.   
  
Joey knows everything you said at the meeting, but she's here anyways. She's listening, and piping in the corrections you've made when you slip up a little. Jude would flip out if he found out you both were enacting a minor cover up in this story, but... he'll understand when he's older.   
  
TODAY is OCTOBER 31ST, 1994, and you've had ENOUGH SCARES for a life time. There's no plans for going out trick or treating, or even dressing up in costume.  
  
You're content for now to sit here, and talk. And just... be a FAMILY.  
  
These kids and Roxy, even if she's not blood related to you, are all you have left besides JANE, and you haven't talked to her since you ran away from home.  
In the early 1950S, your MOTHER had disappeared, presumed DEAD. (Well, she is NOW, you suppose, baring any TIME TRAVEL or CLONING incidents.) You'd inherited the company, on pretense of being the HEIR APPARENT, and you wondered why it wasn't JANE getting the role.  
  
Now, you have some vague idea. Mother had done something to Jane's husband- had a child CLONED from them.  
  
Your BLOOD NIECE is out there somewhere, according to DANIEL JACKSON, working for some other GENETIC MANIPULATOR called NIRRTI.   
  
But you're not sure she counts or not. Not until you meet her face to face can you decide if she's truly your FAMILY.  
  
And then comes the KNOCK at the door, and Roxy gets up to go get it- not having two kids sprawled across her to prevent her from moving.  
  
It's two people at the door, miraculously. One is the PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR you'd hired to find Jane, the other is the CROCKER ESTATE EXECUTOR. Both have great news- you know where JANE IS and where she will be in JUST A SCANT 11 DAYS- the same place you'll be: MOTHER'S MANSION IN FLORIDA, for the OFFICIAL FUNERAL.   
  
Somehow, you wouldn't be surprised that your mother's COHORTS had some minor hand in rigging this.   
  
It doesn't matter, you suppose, even if it could be a trap.  
  
You're going anyways. It's been far, far too long since you've seen Jane... and she deserves to meet her NIECE AND NEPHEW after all these years.  
  
Your name is JAKE HARLEY, and you SWEAR that you're going to be the BEST FATHER THAT YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE starting RIGHT NOW.

* * *

 

Your name is JAYNI, FIRST PRIME to the SYSTEM LORD NIRRTI.  
  
Your LADY sighs an annoyed sigh from her COMFY CHAIR. "That Khepri never did know quite when to quit, did she?"   
  
"No, Mi'lady," you say.  
  
"Oh well, at least we've planned for this eventual contingency," Lady Nirrti says, getting up from her chair, and walking across the LABORATORY FLOOR towards the LATEST PROJECT'S CONTAINMENT VAT. "If not her son finally getting one up on her, it would have been another of the System Lords, inevitably. Cronus maybe. No. Apophis most likely."  
  
"Agreed, Mi'lady," You say as you follow her, your tail swishing idly as you ponder these events. "Apophis is the most likely candidate to pull off a successful murder of Ra."  
  
"Which is why we'll be keeping this quiet," Lady Nirrti says, glancing at you with a smile on her face. "When the other Lords ask, Ra is to be working on a Private Project and has asked for all requests for her to be done through us."  
  
"Surely they will realize eventually that Ra is dead," You note.  
  
"Oh, that's a given," Lady Nirrti chuckles, placing her hand on the vat containing a GREEN SLIME composed of an UNPLEASANT MIXTURE of GENETIC MATERIALS. "But it should give us enough time to complete PROJECT HEIR. We may have to put the child in hiding once they're born, so as to avoid suspicion from the other Lords, but we should have just enough time with the ruse to accomplish it."  
  
"And what if we don't?" You ask. "What if one of the other System Lords realizes what we're doing and tries to stop it before it's ready?"  
  
"Hmm..." Lady Nirrti considers it. "What's the status of our Lab on Planet... Hamkey? Hanka?"  
  
"Hanka, yes." You confirm.

"Yes, how is the progress there?"  
  
"The lab tunneling crystals we stole from the Tokra agent have been doing a remarkable job at creating the necessary spaces on schedule," you answer. "We should have our new laboratory on Hanka ready within the week, and all of our resources should be finished being moved there within the following week."  
  
"Good," Lady Nirrti says. "And the dissemination of the false flag information of our decoy base?"  
  
"Already Thoroughly leaked, with only the Gate Address remaining to be sent out," you answer.   
  
"Good, good," Lady Nirrti nods. "Yes, very good. By the time the other System Lords realize that we've covered up Ra's death, and seek us out in revenge, they'll have fallen straight into the trap they never realized we'd planned for them in the first place."  
  
And with that, she waves her hand in a dismissal motion, and you bow, moving to leave.   
  
You pause briefly, however, to look at the PREDICTED END RESULTS of what PROJECT HEIR will look like. You honestly wish Lady Nirrti hadn't chosen YOUR BASE GENETICS to use for the MATERNAL HALF of this project. It's much too obvious that there's a FAMILIAL CONNECTION, especially considering who the PATERNAL HALF is.   
  
Your backup plans for HIDING THE CHILD IN PLAIN SIGHT should it come to it seems almost too risky in this regard.  
  
But, Lady Nirrti and Lady Ra had planned for this fail safe long ago. Surely they must know what they were doing.  
  
...Surely...  
  
You shake your head, and turn to leave, forcing images of the BOY'S FACE from your mind.  
  
You are JUST THE FIRST PRIME. Who would you be to QUESTION YOUR GODDESS?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHOULD be one more chapter to ACT 1, which I'm just starting working on. Act 2 will begin shortly there after, most likely.


	7. ACT 1 ACT 7: OROBORUS.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Your name is JOEY (CLAIRE) HARLEY. In no particular order, you're a SEMI-ORPHAN, a BIG SISTER, a DANCER OF TWO SCHOOLS, and now, it seems, PART OF A MUCH LARGER FAMILY.  
  
Apparently, your GRANDMOTHER, who you never even met, was SUCH a terrifying force to your PA and his SISTER that the only thing that could BRING THEM TOGETHER again was her SUDDEN AND MYSTERIOUSLY CONFIRMED DEATH after a DECADES LONG DISAPPEARANCE.  
  
Seriously, apparently she's been missing for longer than you've been ALIVE, and yet, somehow... The first you've ever hear of her outside of SAFE SNOOPING is your PA telling you she's FINALLY DEAD and that you're all going to the FUNERAL.  
  
The body, apparently, is NOT FIT FOR VIEWING, and you find it ODD that this all happens starting several days just AFTER PA's mission to ABYDOS through a STRANGE DEVICE called a STARGATE.  
  
Still, ALIEN PORTALS aside, as your PA nervously takes you and Jude to a DRESS FITTING for something SUITABLY DARK AND SOMBER, you realize that, however bad this, and you quote Roxy here, "Wicked Crone of a Batterwitch" was, her death has brought something positive to your life, at least.  
  
That being: this has been some of THE MOST family interaction you or your little brother JUDE have had in ALL THE YEARS of your life since your MOTHER died. You were seriously wondering what it would take to get your PA to spend more than a few days around you at a time.  
  
By the time you've all traveled half way across the country (AGAIN. This time from COLORADO to FLORIDA) to where the FUNERAL will be taking place, it's been about a FULL TWO WEEKS of having him around.  
  
Truth is- and once again excluding the ALIEN PORTAL TO ANOTHER WORLD, because who wouldn't be excited about THAT?- you've never seen him quite so excited for something except for when your MOTHER was alive. Even with all his constant talk of ADVENTURE THIS and EXPLORATION THAT, there was this sense of... sadness? DESPAIR?  
  
You're FOURTEEN YEARS OLD, you're not quite sure what the right word is and you're NOT the kind of girl who carries around a GIANT DICTIONARY inside their head like some people you recently met. Regardless, there was always a sense of THAT clouding your PA's entusiastic exclamations. Whatever got him moving in the morning, you suppose.  
  
Jude is in silent awe for the most part when you reach the place that the Funeral is being held- some fancy ass place in the middle of SOME IMPRESSIVE FLORIDIAN SWAMPLANDS that your PA tells you used to be his home growing up. If your home outside Hauntswitch is a MANSION, and the house your PA bought in Colorado is a BUNKER, then this place is a FORTRESS.  
  
HER IMPERIOUS ESTATE, your PA calls it with no trace of nostalgia- only BITTER ANGER. He says that it was built over the bulldozed remains of SASSACRE MANNOR when he was only a child. Entering the main entry hall, you see TERRIFYING STATUES of TALL, IMPOSING FIGURES, as well as one ODDLY CENTERPIECED structure that looks like a SWOLE MUSCLE MAN in ROBES and holding a STRANGE CANE, whose HEAD had been chopped off.  
  
Your PA laughs a little upon seeing it, remarking that was the only act of open rebellion his mother had ever allowed him to make while he was under her "care," outside of the day he left to make his mark on the world, that is.  
  
And then, he stopped entirely in the middle of just about everything, staring off at a small gathering of people. Roxy pokes him in the arm, and all your PA says is a whispered name. "Jane."  
  
Somehow, that voice carries across the room, and one of the older people in that gathering PA was staring at- a woman- turns to look and see who spoke it. It takes you a moment to recognize her, but- holy shit- that's the girl from that one photo on the wall! The one of your PA when he was a kid, with a girl you could have only assumed was his sister!  
  
A sister that apparently is still alive, by the way she exclaims, "Jake!"  
  
...She looks so much older than your PA does, somehow.  
  
Your PA, in a show of speed you're suddenly very curious about, rushes across the room and pulls her into a hug. She hugs him back, and there's worried laughing, relieved crying, and-  
  
SLAP!  
  
...Oh.  
  
"That's for lying and telling me you were going to China!" The woman, Jane, says with a happy tone of voice despite the furious palm-to-jaw strike she just delivered.  
  
"Ah, but it got Mother off my trail, though, didn't it?" PA asks, grinning.  
  
"Hoo hoo! So it did!" his sister laughs as well. "So where did you really go?"  
  
"Egypt!" PA exclaims with a grin. "Did you hear of the Langford Expedition?"  
  
"You were there?" Miss Jane gasps in amazement.  
  
"I was one of the background workers! Oh, you'll NEVER believe what we found that didn't get reported, but- Oh!" He stops, as if remembering, "But first there's some people you need to meet!" He turns, facing you, Jude, and Roxy. "Miss Lalonde! Bring the kids over please!"  
  
Miss Lalonde? You blink, even as Roxy laughs out an "Aye aye, Sir!" and starts guiding you and Jude over. PA only ever calls your Babysitter that when he's about to make a professional introduction- or, atleast, so he's done whenever he's brought company over to the House. You're not about to presume there's a specific habbit without further evidence.  
  
"Jane! This is Miss Roxy Lalonde, she works for me at Skaianet, as well as serves as a Babysitter for these two younguns," Pa says, a trace of that minute sadness you've been used to clouding his adventure plan declarations resurfacing again. "Kids, meet my sister, your Aunt Jane. Jane, meet my kids. The eldest is Joey, the youngest is Jude."  
  
"My word, Jake!" your 'Aunt Jane' says, hands going to her cheeks in surprise. "They're so young!" She then gasps, and then looks your PA over once more. "And so are you, for that matter! What's your secret? HMM?"  
  
"Oh, we have so much to catch up on," PA says.  
  
"Aha! So true! So very true!" Jane nodes, then, claps her hands and calls out for someone. "ALEC! ALEC! Come here! You have some important people to meet!"  
  
And then out comes a man from another group of people- these ones all looking like serious legal folk- who looks to be about Roxy's Age. You make important note of this fact because Roxy ALSO makes important note of this fact by way of letting out a low whistle.  
  
"Alec, this is my brother, Jake, and his kids! Your cousins!" Jane says, then smiles, and says, "Jake, this is my son, Alec."  
  
And so a bunch of "Pleasure to meet you"s are exchanged, and a lot of CATCHING UP TO DO happens next, starting with your PA leaping into an excited explanation of what exactly he'd been doing since Egypt.  
  
Roxy, of course, starts doing her damnedest to flirt with the man that's apparently your cousin.  
  
Your name is JOEY HARLEY, and at fourteen years old, you say a sentence you'd never thought you'd ever say in a million years.  
  
"Roxy Lalonde! Are you really flirting with my COUSIN!?"  
  
Of course, you also say it rather loudly. To the point that all eyes turn to you and you feel... well... You're not quite sure how you feel about it. You think the word might be... 'Important'?  
  
...Needless to say, it's not the kind of attention you want at something like this.  
  
Thankfully, PA comes to the rescue by suggesting everyone go to LUNCH after the initial CEREMONY is over, and before the WAKE begins. Just to catch up on old times.  
  
Today is NOVEMBER 11th, 1994, and you're not quite sure whether to be glad, or worried about what 'catching up on old times' involves.

* * *

 

  
Olive. Fucking. Garden.  
  
You're sitting in a gods forsaken OLIVE GARDEN.  
  
It's not that you don't LIKE Olive Garden per-say. It's just that you're not very IMPRESSED with this particular one in Florida.  
  
The chairs are stupid, wooden, and unlike the COMFY, CUSHIONED, WHEELED CHAIRS from the Olive Garden back in HAUNTSWITCH, take CONSIDERABLE EFFORT to both MOVE INTO POSITION and GET COMFORTABLE IN. Jude is practically squirming in his seat next to you like he used to when he sat in those hard plastic HIGH CHAIRS as a baby. It'd be hilarious if not for your SHARED DISCOMFORT.  
  
Also, the interior PAINT JOB is something DARK AND GLOOMY, more akin to a BURNT BLOOD RED and not at all the BRIGHT AND CHEERY BREADSTICK GOLDEN YELLOW you're used to. Also, the OLIVES THEMSELVES in the BOTTOMLESS SALAD BOWL taste HORRIBLE. The Heck? And as if to add insult to injury, it looks like they KICKED THE PERSONAL PIZZAS off of the regular menu onto KIDS MENU ONLY! As a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD, you now NO LONGER QUALIFY for the KIDS MENU. Freaking Fraking Quacking DUCKS!!!  
  
This place has been redesigned to be a TORTURE HOUSE.  
  
You are NOT HAPPY about that.  
  
What you are slightly considerably more happy about is the fact that, despite all of this, your PA reserved a PRIVATE ROOM for everyone to eat in. Everyone in this case, being simply his SISTER JANE, her son, ALEC, then PA, ROXY, YOU, and JUDE. There had been lots of other people at the FUNERAL, but apparently they're more DISTANT RELATIONS from your GRANDFATHER'S side of the family- the SASSACRES. Nobody from your GRANDMOTHER'S SIDE- The CROCKERS- were present.  
  
You learned that the only people present who SHOULD have had that name were those who had changed it- either intentionally like your PA out of spite, or through MARRIAGE, like his sister, JANE.  
  
Your DECEASED GRANDMOTHER had NO OTHER LIVING FAMILY through BLOOD.  
  
The SASSACRES that had been present had been the largest bunch of people by far, but they were... How to put it... MOSTLY LAWYERS seeking their CUT.  
Apparently without a LEGAL CONFIRMATION of her death, they couldn't do anything about the "Rightful Shares of inheritance" or whatever. Your PA had appeased them all by offering to SELL SHARES in the company to whoever wanted them, and told them to figure out who wanted what by the time he got back from LUNCH, which he then proceeded to take you and the aforementioned PEOPLE to the OLIVE GARDEN at which you now currently take offense at.  
Wow. What a LONG WINDED THOUGHT TRAIN to have just delved through.  
  
Gosh, your brain can run on the strangest tangents some time. Especially when you're trying your HARDEST not to focus on ROXY flirting with your COUSIN still.  
  
Dang it all. Just leave Alec alone, Roxy, and give you some time to talk to him first!  
  
Your attention is suddenly dragged into the conversation between your PA and his SISTER by the startled remark of, "HOLY TOLEDO! You didn't!"  
  
Your PA is completely confounded by whatever remark JANE delivered, and it's that confounded look on his face that's got her laughing a cute "Hoo Hoo Hoo!" kind of laugh.  
  
It's frankly all kinds of adorable.  
  
"Oh! I did! But that's not the best part!" Jane says. "The little ruffian thought he could get the drop on me with one of our family legacy joke books! Well I sure showed him! All it took was one small handfull of catnip to the face, and Sir Pounce De Leon leaped on it like hot butter!"  
  
"Oh hoh! I bet there was a lot of scratches!" PA laughs.  
  
"There were, there were!" Jane nods, laughing as well.  
  
You're not quite sure what to make of any of that conversation. Roxy, however, does.  
  
"Oh my god!" She squeals. "You have a cat named Punce De Leon!? That's so PURR-fect!"  
  
You and Jude share a look as Roxy begins on one of her CAT PUN FILLED meandering DECLARATIONS OF LOVE OF ALL THINGS FELINE.  
  
Usually she only does stuff like this when drunk, but she seems to have been rather SOBER. Your COUSIN seems to be enthusiastic about it, though, giving her a wide grinning smile...  
  
Damn it all. Now he's actively flirting back.  
  
The actual LUNCHES you'd ordered arrive shortly, and then at your PA's order, the doors to the PRIVATE ROOM are sealed.  
  
And then your Pa begins telling Jane about the mission to ABYDOS, although it's the SANITIZED VERSION he told JUDE and ROXY before.  
  
Well, except where he gets to the part where he describes how he imagines what happened on the space ship once the bomb got there. This time, he starts mimicking her ACCENT, and way of SPEAKING, and it's a WELL PRACTICED MIMICK- one likely honed from childhood.  
  
Jane certainly seems to smile upon hearing it- suggesting that it's not all that accurate to reality, but is close enough for parody.  
  
You're not sure what to make of it, to be honest.  
  
Finally, once the story is done, Jane remarks, "You know, I think I saw something similar to that Ring Gate you described once in the house."  
  
"This house? That the wake is at?" PA asks, surprised.  
  
"Yes! I think it was up in the attic, actually. It might have been moved to the basement in the intervening years, though."  
  
"If it's a stargate... It might have been moved to the basement for sure, if Mother was setting it up." Pa nods. "Yes, it makes sense to hide one there. That's where the new electrical hookups I saw this morning go into the building, isn't it?"  
  
"I wouldn't know," Jane says. "We'd have to take a look for ourselves, though, wouldn't we?"  
  
"Family Adventure?" Jude whispers- awe in his voice. And thus, Jane turns her attention to him.  
  
Oh, Brother.

* * *

 

  
At the WAKE, your PA gets detained by THE LAWYERS for BUYING STOCKS, AUNT JANE has decidedly distracted herself in getting to know JUDE, and ROXY and your COUSIN ALEC have wandered off somewhere together, leaving you alone and free and clear to do...  
  
SNOOPING!  
  
You're not a BIG GUM FAN, but you pop a stick into your mouth and start CHEWING as you wander the halls. Eh. You got an ALRIGHT FLAVOR- STRAWBERRY BANANA- but it's not your FAVORITE in the world.  
  
This MANSION is definitely a maze of hallways and corridors. If it weren't for the CLEARLY TURN OF THE 1900S CONSTRUCTION MATERIALS, you'd almost say it was the LAYOUT FOR SOME SPACE SHIP.  
  
Given what your ALIEN GRANDMOTHER apparently did for a living OFF of Earth in TWO GALAXIES... well, you're not surprised by that design astetic.  
She probably drew up the blueprints herself.  
  
You find a BASEMENT STAIRWELL that someone left UNLOCKED. Suspicious. You wedge the piece of gum you were chewing into the LOCK JAM, and pray that if someone tries to lock the door while you're down there, the GUM will keep it unlocked.  
  
Unfortunately, it seems NOBODY CHANGED THE LIGHTBULBS recently. Fortunately, you have your HANDY DANDY POCKET FLASHLIGHT! Not so good for WHACKING PEOPLE with, but DEFINITELY A HANDY TOOL for lighting up dark places with a WIDE, STAGE LAMP LIKE BEAM.  
  
You head downstairs into the basement and begin looking around.  
  
Your first thought is that it's CLUTTERED. Like Mother Like Son, you suppose. MEENAH CROCKER or KHEPRI, whichever she preferred is whichever you WONT USE, seems to be just as much of a PACK RAT as your PA! This basement could DOUBLE for the one back in HAUNTSWITCH.  
  
Lots of CROCKER CORP. branded boxes LITTER THE EVERYTHING ALLTOGETHER- some OLD BOXES from the early 1900s seem to have been FRAMED IN GLASS BOXES for bizarre reasons.  
  
You spot a LARGE CIRCUIT BREAKER that looks like it was installed within the last TEN YEARS, and nearby you find...  
  
Now wait just a minute you think you've seen this BOX somewhere before.  
  
...Yes. Now you recognize it. It's tall, it's wide, and it's KINDA THIN, but the only thing differentiating it between how it is now and how it was in that PHOTOGRAPH in your PA'S SAFE is the fact that it's BEEN OPENED, and the contents NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. All that's left is a RING SHAPED GAP where a STARGATE almost certainly was hidden away.  
  
You search the rest of the basement, but find NO SIGN OF THE GATE. Boo.  
  
You pop another piece of gum in your mouth as you return upstairs. BLECK. You really drew the WORST OF THE LOT that time. SOUR APPLEBERRY BLAST. It tastes less like APPLE BERRIES of any kind, and more like MUSTARD.  
  
You glance at the GUM BRANDING, and scowl upon realizing it's NOT BETTY CROCKER. That would have made so much sense if it had been. But no, instead it's just DUMBOLD GUM, the GUM WITH THE WORLD'S DUMBEST AND OLDEST FLAVORS- er, you mean, the BOLDEST.  
  
That's their gimmick. A pack of TWENTY STICKS divided into TEN BOLD FLAVORS, and TEN DUMB FLAVORS. All unmarked. All the same visual appearance. You don't know what you get until it hits your tongue.  
  
You don't think something like this will EVER CATCH ON.  
  
Still, the gum'll do the trick if you have to leave ANY MORE DOORS unlocked.  
  
You briefly return to the MEMORIAL HALL, and see that your PA has been begrudgingly put on the microphone to talk about HIS TIME WITH HIS MOTHER.  
  
Poor PA, so clearly uncomfortable.  
  
As you head back into the rest of the otherwise empty house, you pass by the FRONT DOOR WINDOWS and- wait a minute. Who are those fancy MILITARY TRUCKS belonging to and why are they pulling up through the gates? You'd thought everyone from the guest list had arrived already.  
  
And then GENERAL WEST gets out of the front passenger seat of one of the lead vehicles, carrying...  
  
Are those GUNS?  
  
"Shiiiit," you careen back towards the WAKE HALL, and run up towards your PA, still on stage.  
  
"And I really don't have the time to regale you all with the time Mother' cut off the head of the neighbor's chicken, I mean-" Pa pauses as you grab at his pants leg. "Sorry, got to take this." He kneels down away from the Microphone to ask, "What is it, Joey?"  
  
"General West is outside with a lot of people with a lot of scary guns." You inform him as quietly as possible.  
  
Your PA's face remains STONE AND STEEL, but his EYES. Oh do his EYES light up with horror.  
  
"Shit." He whispers. "Joey, did you see anything else important when you were looking around and saw that?"  
  
The Stargate, he means.  
  
"I saw a box for it in the basement, but it was empty," You tell him.  
  
Pa massages his chin as he puts a perplexed face on- his eyes are STILL full of horror just the same, but now with a bit of PUZZLING DETECTIVE behind it.  
  
"The attic. That's got to be where it is. Jane must have seen the box up there before it was unboxed." He then hands you a small GUM BOX, and winks at you. "Go see if you can find if it's there. Take your Brother and Jane- Roxy too if you can find her and Alec!"  
  
"What about you?" You ask.  
  
"I'll stall for time if West makes an entrance," PA says. "Now go."  
  
You scamper off, and PA returns to the MICROPHONE. "Well, actually, Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I DO have the time to tell you all about that Chicken beheading. It actually was somewhat funny, in retrospect."  
  
You scamper over to Jude and Aunt Jane, and ask them where ROXY went. Jane shrugs. You frown, and tell them that Pa wants you all to meet up at the ATTIC.  
Jane gets the subtle meaning behind your words, and Jude seems to suspect by the way his eyebrows raise behind his glasses.  
  
You then head off to go find ROXY and your COUSIN.  
  
Think, Joey. THINK. Where would a semi-often drunk and TOTAL FLIRT go with your APPARENTLY FLIRT WORTHY COUSIN in a MANSION at a WAKE?  
  
...  
  
Duh. The Kitchen! That's where all the alcohol would be.  
  
As you head that way, trying to stick to the shadows and the low corners, you check the GUM BOX Pa handed you, and find out that instead it's a CLEVERLY DISGUISED LOCKPICK KIT.  
  
Cute, PA. Very cute.  
  
The Attic is probably LOCKED and the KEY hidden away. No time to solve puzzles here, not if WEST is here to stir up trouble. You'll have to PICK THE LOCK when you get up there.  
  
You find the kitchen, and then lament that it is locked as well.  
  
Looks like you'll be getting some practice in first.  
  
You close your eyes, and try to remember those lessons ROXY had given you back when Jude had accidentally used REAL HANDCUFFS in a MAGIC TRICK when he was six and then SWALLOWED THE VERY REAL KEY.  
  
Those lessons come back in a FLASH, and you quickly PICK THE KITCHEN DOOR LOCK.  
  
As you push into the kitchen, you hear THE MANSION'S FRONT DOORS being KNOCKED DOWN.  
  
Both events, simultaneously, are enough to get ROXY and ALEC to stop whatever weird ADULT THINGS they were doing on that countertop.  
  
"Joey! What's going on!?" Roxy half-asks, half-yelps as she tries to smooth out her dress.  
  
"No time to explain! Gotta get to the attic!" you tell them before rushing off to find the stairs for just that place.  
  
As you make it to the stairwell, you hear GUN FIRE, and then WEST'S VOICE BOOMING THROUGH THE HOUSE like it's been pumped through A BADLY TUNED SPEAKER SYSTEM.  
  
**"NOBODY MOVE! OR BY LADY RA'S FINAL COMMAND, WE WILL KILL YOU ALL!"**  
  
...Crap. Does that mean General West had one of those ALIEN PARASITE THINGS in him this entire time?  
  
**"NOW TELL ME, WHERE IS THE CHAPPA'AI!?"**  
  
...Yeah, that's probably an alien parasite in the guy. You're not quite sure how to feel about that.  
  
"THE CHOPPER?" Hearing your Pa start to LAUGH, however, steels you, and pushes you up the stairs to the ATTIC. "Do you REALLY think we have a helicopter hidden away here?!"  
  
**"HARLEY!"** West/Not-West yells. **"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! WHERE IS THE STARGATE!?"**  
  
"Not Here! You're in the wrong place!" PA yells, boisterous. His voice echoing through a nearby ventilation shaft. Ah, so that's how you're hearing it. "You'd think you'd know that, since you used to WORK there!"  
  
You keep running up the stairs.  
  
**"STOP PLAYING DUMB, HARLEY! YOU KNOW WHICH STARGATE I MEAN!"**  
  
You finally make it to the ATTIC, only to find that only JUDE has made it up here.  
  
"OHHH! _That Stargate_! The one in the basement?" PA deflects.  
  
**"SEARCH THE BASEMENT!"**  
  
"Joey!" he hisses as you join him at the door. "It's locked so Aunt Jane went to get a key but then the shooting started and Pa started yelling- and who was yelling with that really creepy reverb voice!? It's so freaking and scarry and I don't know what to do-"  
  
"I unlock the door," you say, and then move to PICK THE LOCK, once more bringing those skills to the forefront.  
  
It's a DIFFERENT KIND OF LOCK from the kitchen, but it's still SIMILAR ENOUGH that you're able to figure out what the differences is- namely in the number of CYLINDERS. This one has an absurd amount- ELEVEN, SPECIFICALLY- where as most only have FIVE or SIX.  
  
Still, you BREEZE THROUGH THEM as quickly as you can, and then POP!  
  
You and Jude hurry into the Attic, and close the door behind you just as you hear BOOTED FEET marching up the stairs.  
  
You LOCK THE DOOR from the inside, and wait with baited breath as someone stops on the other side. Their feet cast a shadow that pushes through the underside of the door. There's a moment where they rattle the door handle, and find it locked.  
  
["No sign of recent activity on the top floor. Attic door locked."] whoever it is says in AN UNKNOWN LANGUAGE.  
  
...And then they leave.  
  
You and Jude EXHALE in relief.  
  
"What's going on, Joey?" Jude asks, his voice a hoarse whisper.  
  
"They're looking for a Stargate," you explain, frowning as you start looking around the ATTIC. It's a huge, expansive room that seems to SPAN THE ENTIRE LENGTH of the house. Much larger than your Hauntswitch house's attic. Much like the basement, you draw PARRALELS with your own house in Hauntswitch, too. There's a lot of STUFF stored away here, and a lot of it's COVERED IN LARGE TARPS. But it's the SHAPES that draw your eye.  
  
ROW AFTER ROW of cylindrical objects frame a PATH towards the center of the furthest edge of the attic. Framed by a WINDOW is a GIANT, CIRCULAR SHAPED OBJECT covered by a TARP. But the sunlight is GLARING through the window, casting a SHADOW on the floor as the light PASSES THROUGH THE TARP.  
  
A RING.  
  
No.  
  
A STARGATE.  
  
"And I think I just found it." You whisper, heading over towards a smaller TARPED OBJECT next to the obvious STARGATE. You remove the tarp, and find a device SIMILAR to the one you saw in pictures- the one your PA found on Abydos.  
  
The DIAL HOME DEVICE.  
  
Except while the general shape is the same, the style of it is all... weird.  
  
The Color of the METAL is a dark, DEEP METALLIC GREEN, rather than dull grey. Every press-able key is A DEEP RED GLASS, and the ORB IN THE CENTER is a brilliantly BRIGHT LIME GREEN even while idle and inactive.  
  
It's also VERY CLEARLY BEEN MANUFACTURED here on earth. There are VISIBLE NUTS AND BOLTS all over it. What's more, a SIDE PANNEL was either never attached or had been removed, because a LOT OF CABLES are running out from inside it- one of them, the largest of all, connected to the Stargate, while a bunch of other, smaller ones, are run up towards the LARGE CYLINDRICAL OBJECTS.  
  
Jude, curious, removes the tarps from one of them by giving it a good tug from below, and nearly drowns himself in the dust covered tarp as it falls on him.  
  
It's tall, it's large, and it's PRACTICALLY BEGGING TO BE TURNED ON.  
  
It's either a POWER GENERATOR, A VERY LARGE BATTERY, or some kind of TRANSFORMER.  
  
Judging by how many of these things there are... it could very well be a combination of all three.  
  
You look to the tarp covered Stargate, and you wonder... just what was your GRANDMOTHER doing with this device? Was this how she 'mysteriously dissapeared' from Earth all those years ago, leading to your PA inheriting the company?  
  
You reach towards the DHD and hesitate.  
  
The PLATES HAVE NO SYMBOLS.  
  
What the hell?  
  
You squint. There does seem to be some shapes there... So take out your POCKET FLASHLIGHT, and reflect it into the plates. Hrm. Depending on the ANGLE, you see one of TWO DIFFERENT SYMBOLS PER PLATE.  
  
You kneel down, and look into the EXPOSED INNARDS...  
  
There's a LARGE SWITCH, which doesn't seem to have any OBVIOUS WAY OF TURNING IT. Maybe if there were some kind of WEIRD KEY to slot into it? Either way, the switch seems to point at ONE OF TWO POINT OF ORIGIN SYMBOLS, Earth's, or A SIMILAR ONE with some added CRESCENT MOONS behind it.  
  
The switch is currently pointing at the LATTER.  
  
Suddenly you come to the startling realization that this DHD is like a TRAIN TRACK SWITCH POINT. You can CHANGE GATE NETWORKS with it!  
  
You look a bit closer at the innards of the DHD, and find a NON DESCRIPT, RATHER UNASSUMING LITTLE RED LIGHT SWITCH resting among the wires.  
  
You FLICK IT, and...  
  
Nothing happens.  
  
You flick it a few more times, and find that yes, nothing happens either way.  
  
Damn it. That's not good.  
  
You look around inside and... Oh. Well that's OBVIOUSLY NOT RIGHT EITHER.  
  
Someone CUT A WIRE IN TWO, leaving EXPOSED ENDS. Gingerly, you tap each half of the wire against a METAL SURFACE within the DHD, and see NO SPARKS from either wire. No LIVE CURRENT is presently running through it.  
  
Obviously, the only solution is to tie the wires together, and.... then what? You'd need something to insulate the exposed sections otherwise you'd risk a BURNOUT.  
You work your jaw as you think on it- and then remember the PIECE OF GUM you were chewing from earlier because it's uncomfortably stuck up on the side of one of your molars.  
  
You grin as you realize what you need to do.  
  
You tie the wires together, and then- carefully- pluck the wad of gum out of your mouth to use as a BINDING AGENT to hold the wire together.  
  
"There..." you take a breath, and then flick that power switch again.  
  
This time, the DHD LIGHTS UP and one of the GENERATORS begins to hum. There's a CLAK, and a sudden THRUUM as something else powers on, followed by another device a moment later.  
  
So. Batteries, Generators, AND Transformers. Wonderful.  
  
"WHAT WAS THAT?" you hear a voice yell from downstairs through a vent. "GO FIND OUT WHAT'S MAKING THAT NOISE!"  
  
"Crap," you swear, pulling out of the DHD to look at the SET OF SYMBOLS DISPLAYED.  
  
You don't recognize MOST OF THESE GLYPHS, save for a particular set of EIGHT.  
  
"Use in emergency," You whisper. "This is where I use that Gate Address Hammond gave me."  
  
"Joey, wait," Jude says, hurring over to you. "That note- it was in MY handwriting!"  
  
"Yours?" You look at him, raising an eyebrow. "That didn't look anything like yours."  
  
"No, it looks like mine when I try to copy PA's!" Jude says. "And I've never told anyone that I've been practicing that! I think the paper came out of my practice notebook too! But I left that back in Hauntswitch! I don't trust this, Joey! I really don't!"  
  
You frown. "And you never saw Hammond before that day, right?"  
  
He nods. "Never, Joey! I swear!"  
  
You take a deep breath, and look at the DHD's symbols. There's something FUNKY going on here, Jude's right about that...  
  
But...  
  
"SIR! THE ATTIC! IT WAS LOCKED! IT'S THE ONLY PLACE WE HAVEN'T SEARCHED YET!"  
  
You hiss, and then press the first symbol from that ADDRESS.  
  
The little weird W shape with the three circles glows on the platform, and makes an otherworldly sound.  
  
That's when the STARGATE beneath the tarp SHUDDERS- SHAKES- and utterly THROWS the tarp off of itself as an INNER RING made up of GLASS PLATES identical to the ones on the DHD (In that it's got replaceable symbols) spins around inside an OUTER TRACK that looks HEAVILY THROWN TOGETHER. NONE OF THE CHEVRONS look like the regular STARGATES, and instead look like they're SNAKE SKULLS that have had TRIANGULAR PIECES OF GLASS shoved into them. The WHOLE GATE RATTLES AND SHAKES as its inner track spins around to lock the FIRST SYMBOL IN PLACE.  
  
_**BEEEEEP-**_ The first chevron LIGHTS UP, and then one of the tarped Generator/Transformer/Things makes a god awful **THWUNKWHUMP** sound as it shudders, and the WHOLE ATTIC SHAKES.  
  
Dust falls from the CEILING down onto your head, and you hear people downstairs SCREAMING as something falls with a GLASS SHATTERING CRACK.  
Okay, there's NO WAY your Grandmother ever used this thing before.  
  
**"GET UP THERE NOW! SOMEONE'S DIALING OUT!"** Not-West yells out his order.  
  
Jude gives you a whimper as he nods.  
  
There's only one way out of this.  
  
You rapid-fire begin pressing the rest of the sequence out.  
  
The INNER SYMBOL RING spins and spins and just keeps spinning- not even pausing as the OTHER CHEVRONS light up in sequence, each one BEEPING and then causing a GENERATOR/TRANSFORMER/BATTERY THING to **THWUNKWHUMP** and cause another TREMOR each time.  
  
The rapid fire sequence of it makes the whole building SHAKE almost CONTINUALLY. So much so that the GLASS WINDOW behind the MAKESHIFT STARGATE completely SHATTERS- the glass flying backwards and tumbling out into the YARD BELOW.  
  
You've just about hit the FIFTH GLYPH when you hear BOOTS STOMPING UP STAIRS to come for you and Jude.  
  
You tell Jude to HIDE behind one of the Generators, or underneath one of the tarps of one- just so long as he's out of sight of the DOOR, and he goes to do such.  
  
The SIXTH GLYPH is entered just as the men on the other side of the ATTIC DOOR start trying to BUST IT DOWN by ramming it.  
  
You hit the SEVENTH- the FUNKY LOOKING ARROW- and they decide to change tactics. GUN FIRE PIERCES THROUGH THE WOODEN DOOR, and you duck for cover behind the DHD while Jude SHRIEKS LIKE THE LITTLE KID HE IS. The shaking gets WORSE, and then A STRAY BULLET smashes into a GENERATOR- causing GLASS TO BREAK, and A LARGE SURGE of electricity to burst out of it, striking at the DOORKNOB, and then presumably out into the men SHOOTING THROUGH THE DOOR, because they STOP SHOOTING, and instead start YELLING OUT IN AN UNFAMILIAR LANGUAGE.  
  
There's another **THWUNKWHUMP** as the busted Generator delivers its charge into the STARGATE, and you take the risk to reach up and press the ORIGIN GLYPH and the CENTER ORB with both of your hands in that order within a second of each other.  
  
There's an even louder _**BEEEEEP**_ , and an echoing **THWUNKWHUMP** followed by that all too familiar _**WAAA WAAAA**_ \- except, STRANGELY, much louder.  
  
That's when the STUPID SOLDIERS burst through the attic door by kicking it down.  
  
And then the LARGEST KAWOOSH you've EVER SEEN IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE shoots out of the Makeshift Stargate and goes forwards SO FAR that it just seems to hit the ATTIC DOOR and KEEP ON GOING.  
  
The SOLDIERS working for Not-West are nowhere to be seen when it finally RETRACTS INTO THE STARGATE.  
  
But it's not done- the vortex seems to BACK STEP somewhat, spiraling outwards in a MINIATURE SIDEWAYS TORNADO through the broken window for a few precious seconds before finally collapsing back into a STABLE EVENT HORIZON.  
  
HOLY SHIT was that a VIOLENT CONNECTION.  
  
"JOEY!" Jude calls out from the other side of the room. "ARE YOU OKAY!?"  
  
"YEAH! I'M FINE!" You peek out from behind the DHD, and see that a LARGE GULF in the floor separates you from him- one CARVED OUT by the opening vortex.  
  
You can see down into the MEMORIAL HALL- and you can see your ENTIRE FAMILY has been rounded up by NOT-WEST, who is glaring up at you from downstairs. PA gives you a nod.  
  
NOT-WEST'S EYES flash a bright YELLOW color as he brings up a gun to shoot at you.  
  
YOU YELP, and take off at a run for the BARELY REMAINING section of floor supporting the Stargate and keeping it from FALLING DOWN onto the floor below.  
  
DEFINITELY-NOT-WEST fires off his GUN- trailing behind you by a matter of seconds.  
  
You spare a glance at JUDE, and you mouth, "I'm sorry" to him before taking a running leap at the EVENTHORIZON, foregoing the floor and whatever parts of a ramp remained for diving straight into the UNKNOWN.  
  
You barely hear a bullet cracking into ANOTHER GENERATOR, and delivering A DEVASTATING DISCHARGE before the sound is CUT OFF by your passing through the eventhorizon.  
  
For a moment, everything is still, and you feel... suspended. You can't move, but you can SEE.  
  
There's nothing but a PLEASANT GREEN VOID around you... that suddenly FLICKERS, destabilized by SOMETHING, and then you feel a TINGLY SENSATION ACROSS YOUR BODY as all semblance of YOURSELF is TRANSMITTED ACROSS SEVERAL GALAXIES WORTH OF SPACE- with the Green Void TWISTING, SPIRALING, AND FLICKERING as STARS rush past you.  
  
The GREEN FLICKERS- DESTABILIZES- and then seemingly EVAPORATES.  
  
For a moment, you feel as if you've ceased to exist, and all you 'SEE' is black void.  
  
But that's when PINPRICKS OF LIGHT begin shooting together, coalescing together into ANOTHER SWIRLING VORTEX, much like the last, except this time IT'S RED, AND IT'S *STABLE.*  
  
You have no way of knowing it, but the STARGATE AT THE OTHER END has PICKED UP THE SLACK at maintaining the WORMHOLE'S STABILITY, and is PULLING YOU THROUGH TO THE END all on its own.  
  
MORE STARS rush past you, and you're ACUTELY AWARE of there being MORE WORMHOLES of this RED COLOR flashing around in the distance, growing more and more numerous and active as you're pulled towards A DESTINATION UNKNOWN.  
  
There's a building PINPOINT OF LIGHT in the distance that grows LARGER AND LARGER, until finally you hit it and-  
  
_**WHAM!!!**_  
  
You're FLUNG out of the other STARGATE straight into a WOODEN CRATE FILLED WITH... some kind of weird PURPLE GOOP. Ew. Why couldn't it have been Hay?  
  
Well... You think as you feel the CHILL of RE-MATERIALIZATION on your skin and you feel like PASSING OUT. At least there was something SOFT TO BREAK YOUR FALL, in either case...  
  
And then the STARGATE shuts off, and you LIKE WISE, PASS OUT.  
  
**END OF ACT 1.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's ACT ONE done! 
> 
> Up next is ACT TWO, potentially focusing it's split perspectives on JOEY on ALTERNIA, and the start of the SG1 series proper. It'll also probably end up being a LOT LONGER too!


End file.
